art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?
Art
holds a pivotal part in a culture as a means to expose such
societies to the world. One of the ways to preserve art
is by teaching it to the younger generation. I believe that it is important to merge art
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
in
Change preposition
into
education
curriculum so long as it does not overshadow the more practical lessons that should be learned by children.
To start with, Correct article usage
the education
due to
globalization, cultures are highly dependent on art
to sustain their existence in society. For example
, many Indonesian cultures are still around until
today owing to the promotion of its performance activities, Change preposition
apply
such
as traditional dances and puppet shows. Through arts
, not only this
tradition can survive, but it also
can be preserved.
Furthermore
, art
is an effective measure for kids to understand more about their cultural background, which encouraged the legislators to add art
subject
to the education curriculum. Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
Subsequently
, youngsters are able develop
Add the particle
to develop
the
sense of patriotism for their nation and Correct article usage
a
also
contribute to the promotion of their culture through arts
. Other than that, kids’ mental health can Correct article usage
the arts
also
benefit from the lessons of art
in school as it may balance the academical
pressure experienced by students with a more enjoyable activity.
Replace the word
academic
Although
it is highly impactful, there are subjects
other than arts
that are also
urgent to be taught to children. For instance
, social science can aid kids with a comprehensive knowledge about
society. Change preposition
of
Moreover
, as these subjects
are closely intertwined with arts
, they then
can also
help highlighting
the importance of Wrong verb form
highlight
such
arts
to the pupils. In other words
, the context of art
, in
which is Change preposition
apply
also
important to be understood by people, can only be derived from other subjects
outside art
lessons,
In conclusion, while
it is beneficial to encourage children to try arts
in school, art
should be learned altogether with other subjects
because it can only be meaningful when balanced with other subjects
.Submitted by kinantiputriunique on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, create a clearer roadmap in your introduction that previews the main points you will cover. This helps the reader anticipate the structure of your essay and makes it easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you have a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position on the topic. Your introduction should introduce the topic and state your thesis, while your conclusion should summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
coherence cohesion
Elaborate and support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This could involve citing studies, using specific cultural references, or providing hypothetical situations that clearly relate to your claims.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by providing a more comprehensive exploration of both sides of the argument. This means examining not only why art should be taught to children but also addressing any potential drawbacks and the need for a balanced curriculum.
task achievement
Clarify and develop your ideas more comprehensively. Each paragraph should explore a single idea in depth. You might achieve this by breaking down complex points into simpler statements or by providing clear definitions or explanations when you introduce a new concept.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to back up your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. This will also help you fulfill the task more completely and make your essay more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.