Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views!

#people #responsibility #individuals #care #health #diet #governments #citizens

The graph and the table show the

water

use

in two different countries,

Brazil

in South America and

Congo

in Africa. Based on the information, there

Add a missing verb

is a

show examples

huge difference in their populations and irrigated land.

Graph

Add an article

The graph

show examples

shows that the most

water

use

worldwide is in

agriculture

Add an article

the agriculture

show examples

sector,

then

industrial

use

and less

water

use

is in domestic

use

. In

Brazil

, each

individuals

Change to a singular noun

individual

show examples

use

water

about 350 m3 more than a person

use

Congo

. But discussable information in

this

picture is about the

water

consumption p

Add the punctuation

er,

show examples

person in these countries. I would

Add the particle

like to

show examples

talk about the reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

huge difference.

Brazil

is a developing country that has been investing in

lots of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

various industries and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

agricultural infrastructures

while

Congo

Change the article

apply

show examples

poor and undeveloped. So, it makes sense

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

why

water

consumption per person in

Brazil

has

big

Correct article usage

a big

show examples

difference

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

Congo

. In conclusion, I do think

for reducing

Wrong verb form

that to reduce

show examples

water

use

worldwide, we must study, find and implement better new methods in

agriculture

Add an article

the agriculture

show examples

sector.

As well as

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

we need some strict

lows

Correct your spelling

laws

show examples

related to

water

use

in industries to manage the

Correct your spelling

challenges

challen

Correct your spelling

challenge

Submitted by TUTOO on Fri Jan 26 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to fully address the essay prompt. This essay does not discuss the views mentioned in the prompt regarding individual responsibility and government role in health and diet. Focus more on analyzing these opinions and providing relevant examples or arguments.

coherence cohesion

Structure your essay clearly with a proper introduction that presents the topic, followed by body paragraphs each dealing with one aspect of the discussion, and a clear conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the main points in your essay are well-supported with specific examples or evidence. Relate your examples directly to the prompt's question to enhance the relevance.

coherence cohesion

Conclude your essay with a decisive statement or a summary of your discussion which shows you have considered all the aspects of the question posed. The essay, as written, ends abruptly and without a clear conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

185 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

health-conscious decisions
self-discipline
informed choices
personal accountability
regulating food industries
implementing policies
healthy eating
public health campaigns
subsidies for healthy food
enabling environment
accessible
affordable

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Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both these views!

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You have been experiencing problem with the local transport. Write a letter to the manager of the public transportation service and say: -How have you used the local public transport? -What problems have you experience? -Suggest how they can improve the service

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance, for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that people who chose a job early and keep doing are more likely to get satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?