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School uniform should be abolished from schools. to what extend do you agree or disagree with it?

#school #uniform #schools
Many people think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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school
uniforms
 are totally dispensable and it should not be compulsory to wear. They want to abolish
school
uniforms
 from
school
. But, I totally disagree with
this
 phenomenon. In
this
 essay, I will describe some pros of wearing
school
uniforms
 and will give my opinion regarding
this
. On one hand, the benefit of wearing a uniform is multitudinous.
Firstly
, when
students
 wear
school
dress
 they all act like a team. It gives them the feeling of remaining in a common group.
Secondly
, Uniform renders a sense of identity, provided that, they appear disciplined and sophisticated.
While
students
 wear the same
dress
 code they all look like same and there is no chance to treat them
according to
 their religion or wealth. Teachers
also
teachalso
Correct your spelling
teach also
 teach them equally.
Furthermore
,
Students
 get the quality of equality by wearing the same
dress
 code.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 some demerits of
school
uniforms
. First and foremost, buying
school
dress
 is an economic burden for many guardians.
Additionally
,
students
 lose their comfort zone about wearing dresses.
To conclude
, The importance of
school
uniforms
 is inevitable. It helps to conduct a unique journey of
school
-going children.
Also
, a unique
dress
 code assists student's security.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, the logical structure of the essay could be improved by using clearer transitional phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs and within them. Furthermore, ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and the writer's stance, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and gives a final opinion.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, provide a more balanced view by discussing the opposing perspective in greater depth. Include relevant and specific examples to support your main points. Make sure that the entire prompt is addressed and that the response remains focused on the task throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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