Some people believe famous people's support towards International aid organizations draws the attentions to problems, whereas others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some individuals are of the opinion that if
celebrities
provide assistance to global
charity
organisations,
people
become more attentive towards these issues,
whereas
others believe that
celebs
Replace the word
celebrities
show examples
can lessen the severity of the situation.
This
essay intends to delve into both perspectives. I believe that when
celebs
are associated with any organisation,
people
also
put in their contribution. The main reason why some
people
say that
celebs
draw attention towards
problems
by aiding international
charity
groups is that these
charities
can get publicity through
celebrities
. Famous singers, movie stars and sports professionals endorse the activities or campaigns of international
charity
organisations, which attracts more
people
to participate. Stars enhance the reputation and credibility of the
charities
.
Secondly
, when
celebrities
are called upon
for helping
Change preposition
to help
show examples
NPOs (Non-Profit Organisations) or
Charities
, they themselves become aware of these
problems
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and come forward
in donating
Change preposition
to donate
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
such
causes.
On the other hand
, those who say that these
celebs
dilute the severity of the
problems
, give their reasons as follows.
Firstly
, in some instances,
celebrities
take part in
charity
work just to improve their image.
For example
, if some stars are doing publicity for the anti-drug organization, but they themselves have their own history of drug use or crime,
then
obviously the public would look at that
charity
with suspicion.
Secondly
, sometimes, when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
famous
people
are seen working for some
charity
then
people
start thinking that enough is already being done
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and that their help is not needed.
This
can be detrimental in the long run. I believe that
celebs
coming forward to help
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is a very good thing and motivates others
also
to step forward to help. All famous
people
should do their utmost to fulfil their social obligations and do some public service activities for those
charity
organizations.
This
can be an effective way to serve those in need. The international
charities
should
also
be judicious enough to select which celeb they would like to be associated with. To summarise, international aid organizations can attract more citizens' attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
problems
if
celebrities
give the right support and set up good images
Submitted by aamenis on

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Coherence & Cohesion
In both the introduction and conclusion, try to more effectively paraphrase the question and provide a clear thesis statement or a summary. Avoid simply restating the question; instead, reinterpret it with your own words and phrases.
Coherence & Cohesion
Deepen the support for your main points by incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary to establish clear relationships between ideas.
Task Achievement
Ensure your response fully answers all parts of the task. While you have given both sides of the argument, ensure that your personal opinion is clear and expands further on your reasoning.
Task Achievement
To achieve clear and comprehensive ideas, work on developing each argument with more detailed explanations, explore nuances and contrast ideas within paragraphs to add depth to your discussion.
Task Achievement
Strengthen your argument by including more relevant and specific examples. These can stem from real-life events, studies, statistics, or reputable sources that lend weight to your points.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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