Some people believe famous people's support towards International aid organizations draws the attentions to problems, whereas others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Some individuals are of the opinion that if

celebrities

Use synonyms

provide assistance to global

charity

Use synonyms

organisations,

people

Use synonyms

become more attentive towards these issues,

whereas

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others believe that

Use synonyms

celebs

Replace the word

celebrities

show examples

can lessen the severity of the situation.

This

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essay intends to delve into both perspectives. I believe that when

celebs

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are associated with any organisation,

people

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also

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put in their contribution. The main reason why some

people

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say that

celebs

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draw attention towards

problems

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by aiding international

charity

Use synonyms

groups is that these

charities

Use synonyms

can get publicity through

celebrities

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. Famous singers, movie stars and sports professionals endorse the activities or campaigns of international

charity

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organisations, which attracts more

people

Use synonyms

to participate. Stars enhance the reputation and credibility of the

charities

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Secondly

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, when

celebrities

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are called upon

for helping

Change preposition

to help

show examples

NPOs (Non-Profit Organisations) or

Charities

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, they themselves become aware of these

problems

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and come forward

in donating

Change preposition

to donate

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

such

Linking Words

causes.

On the other hand

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, those who say that these

celebs

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dilute the severity of the

problems

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, give their reasons as follows.

Firstly

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, in some instances,

celebrities

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take part in

charity

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work just to improve their image.

For example

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, if some stars are doing publicity for the anti-drug organization, but they themselves have their own history of drug use or crime,

then

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obviously the public would look at that

charity

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with suspicion.

Secondly

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, sometimes, when

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

famous

people

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are seen working for some

charity

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then

Linking Words

people

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start thinking that enough is already being done

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and that their help is not needed.

This

Linking Words

can be detrimental in the long run. I believe that

celebs

Use synonyms

coming forward to help

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is a very good thing and motivates others

also

Linking Words

to step forward to help. All famous

people

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should do their utmost to fulfil their social obligations and do some public service activities for those

charity

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organizations.

This

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can be an effective way to serve those in need. The international

charities

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should

also

Linking Words

be judicious enough to select which celeb they would like to be associated with. To summarise, international aid organizations can attract more citizens' attention

Change preposition

show examples

problems

Use synonyms

celebrities

Use synonyms

give the right support and set up good images

aamenisFri Jan 26 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To enhance the logical structure and flow of your essay, ensure that the sequence of ideas is more carefully planned. It can be helpful to create an outline before writing to guide how each point connects to the next coherently.

Coherence & Cohesion

In both the introduction and conclusion, try to more effectively paraphrase the question and provide a clear thesis statement or a summary. Avoid simply restating the question; instead, reinterpret it with your own words and phrases.

Coherence & Cohesion

Deepen the support for your main points by incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary to establish clear relationships between ideas.

Task Achievement

Ensure your response fully answers all parts of the task. While you have given both sides of the argument, ensure that your personal opinion is clear and expands further on your reasoning.

Task Achievement

To achieve clear and comprehensive ideas, work on developing each argument with more detailed explanations, explore nuances and contrast ideas within paragraphs to add depth to your discussion.

Task Achievement

Strengthen your argument by including more relevant and specific examples. These can stem from real-life events, studies, statistics, or reputable sources that lend weight to your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

349 words

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Some people believe famous people's support towards International aid organizations draws the attentions to problems, whereas others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

More and more people today are using computers and electronic devices to access information. Therefore there is no need to print books, magazines and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do to you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

If all workers in a company were paid exact same wage regardless of job role there would be much more harmony and cooperation between staff. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?