IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Rich countries often give financial aid to poor countries, but it does not solve the poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than the financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #aid #poverty
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It is believed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rich
countries
 should not give monetary
aid
 to developing and under­developed
countries
 as it does not combat poverty. I believe that the developed
countries
 should give some other types of help to the poor
countries
 and not direct financial
aid
. My first argument against financial
aid
 is that
this
aid
 may not actually reach those for whom it is meant. It may go into corrupt pockets.
Secondly
, it would make those people lazy, as they would be getting
aid
 without doing any work.
Thirdly
, the
aid
 may be used for
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 purposes.
For example
, the
aid
 may be given for development projects but it may be used to promote terrorism. The best way to help poor
countries
 would be to open good educational institutes,
good
Correct word choice
and good
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 health centres and create job opportunities for people of the poor
countries
. If people
of
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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poor
countries
 start earning well their
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
 would definitely become better and the whole country would become richer. It has been wisely said by someone, ‘Give a man fish to eat, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to fish, and you feed him for a
lifetime’
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
. If rich
countries
 open factories and multinational companies in poor
countries
 it would be a win-win situation for both, as the poor would get employment and the rich would have to pay much less to these workers than they would have to pay their counterparts in their own country. Direct financial
aid
 would not bring
such
 a situation. Summing up, financial
aid
 is not the best way to help poor
countries
. From my own perspective, the developed
countries
 ought to assist the impoverished
countries
 through other approaches.
Submitted by aamenis on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Incorporate varied sentence structures to improve the overall readability and flow of the essay.
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Develop each main point with more specific and detailed examples to support your argument, which can help in illustrating your ideas more vividly and making a stronger case.
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Expand your conclusion to not only sum up the contents but also to clearly state your position one last time, reinforcing the argument made in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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