IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Petrol prices should be increased to reduce traffic congestion. Agree or disagree

#petrol #prices #traffic #congestion
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It is argued that the most effective way to curb
traffic
 is to raise the price of gas.
This
 essay agrees that an increased levy on petrol could help in the reduction of
traffic
 jams.
Firstly
,
traffic
 jams are caused by commuters travelling to work;
secondly
, public
transport
 could be used as an alternative to cars. Many people commute to work around the same time of day,
however
, they tend to travel alone.
This
 results in an ineffective use of not only cars but
also
 road space as there is an abundance of vehicles in the streets. The outcome is
traffic
 congestion during rush hour. As
such
, a higher tariff on fuel encourages workers to travel together in an attempt to save money.
For instance
, a survey conducted in South Africa reported a surge in
carpoolling
Correct your spelling
carpooling
 after petrol prices were raised, leading to a decline in everyday
traffic
. A rise in fuel prices promotes public
transport
 usage
to
Change preposition
among
show examples
 individuals. Not only is it cheaper as they only need to buy tickets, but
also
 more convenient as they do not need to deal with the stress that comes
alongside
Change preposition
with
show examples
 driving.
Furthermore
, it
also
 causes a drop in the amount of automobiles on the road lowering congestion.
For example
, many countries are encouraging the use of public
transport
such
 as trains and buses by making special provisions
such
 as designated bus lanes that are implemented to avoid
traffic
. In conclusion, higher levies should be applied to gas prices as it will promote car sharing amongst people
as well as
 encourage the utilisation of public
transport
 as a less expensive option.
Submitted by kellyanne.henney on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay with clear paragraphs, each conveying a unique idea. Additionally, use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Ensure a balance in the development of ideas, fully extending and supporting each point. Avoid repetitive sentences and incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas with greater precision.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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