Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures? What measures should be taken to reduce this pressure?
Nowadays,
due to
high competition today's Children
are pressurized and face harder academic, social and commercial challenges. To examine this
issue this
essay will examine the problem and suggest some remedial measures.
In today's world, academic pressure
has increased significantly. Parents
want their children
to excel in every field in their academic career. Parents
teach their children
to score the highest grade in their studies when the child fails to score a high grade, they get stressed because they cannot meet their parents
expectations Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
For instance
, my friend was sent to the best school in the locality and he was informed by his parents
to score A grade in the last
year of school.
He tried his level best and when he received the results he was so disheartened and stressed that he could not meet the goal of his parents
. He was so depressed that he could not even do
eye contact with Verb problem
make
the
Change the word
his
parents
.
Social and commercial pressures also
put children
in dilemma. Social pressure
can sometimes create commercial challenges. social pressures are often related to peer pressure
.
In the childhood phase of life, children
want to have and do everything their friend
have even though that thing is not required of them. Fix the agreement mistake
friends
For example
, If the
friend Correct article usage
a
is having
the latest model of Wrong verb form
has
phone
Add an article
the phone
then
that will create social pressure
to have some model of phone. when they are unable to get these materialistic items, then
the commercial pressure
builts
on.
Correct your spelling
builds
This
is the solution to every problem in the world. likewise
, even to
Change preposition
with
this
problem, there are few solutions that can ease the children
's life. Firstly
, parents
should always have realistic expectations from their children
. Secondly
, parents
should teach their children
competition and cooperation simultaneously. lastly
, the competition should be healthy and should not compete to win at all costs.
Because of this
attitude even if a child is losing and falling they will not be disappointed, they will learn and improve from the failure and do better in life.
To sum up
, due to
tremendous Change preposition
apply
pressure
on children
Add a comma
children,
it
is affecting Correct pronoun usage
apply
physical
and psychological health. Proper Steps should be taken by Correct pronoun usage
their physical
parents
and society to protect childhood.Submitted by shah64447 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph encompasses a single main idea and stick to that point with supporting examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking devices to connect ideas and paragraphs more naturally.
task achievement
Develop ideas further to ensure comprehensive explanations and discussions of the questions posed.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures to showcase language flexibility and complexity.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points; this will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Proofread the essay to correct grammatical errors and enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clearer distinction between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to guide the reader through your essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points of the essay and provide a final perspective on the topic.
task achievement
Focus on answering both parts of the question equally, dedicating time to discussing causes and measures to reduce the pressures.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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