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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that modern tecchnology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #tecchnology
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
viewed
Replace the word
view
show examples
 that modern
technology
is
Correct your spelling
as
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 making individuals more sociable,
while
 others perceive the
oppose
Replace the word
opposite
show examples
, thinking it is making
people
 less sociable. It can't be denied that in the past 10 years, the advancement of
technology
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
inavitable
Correct your spelling
inevitable
. Almost everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 their own gadgets to communicate and work.
Further
, I will provide
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 discussion of both
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
 in
this
 essay, but in my opinion, I believe that modern
technology
 is making
people
 less sociable. The argument
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 modern
technology
pushed
Wrong verb form
pushes
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people
 to be social stems from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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networking.
Technology
 allows
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society to explore and
expands
Correct subject-verb agreement
expand
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 contacts.
For instance
, an individual might be friends with 20
people
 just from a posting in the X application.
However
,
this
 example may be
contradicts
Wrong verb form
contradicted
show examples
 because by increasing a person's networking by social media, the person possibly won't seek new connections outside the internet.
Thus
,
although
 modern gadgets will add
people's
Change preposition
to people's
show examples
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 may
hinders
Change the verb form
hinder
show examples
 their social in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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real life.
On the other hand
, it is proven by the status quo that modern
technology
 is making
the
Correct article usage
apply
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civilians less sociable.
For example
Unnecessary verb
apply
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is
Verb problem
apply
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the high usage of social media and online games,
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
illustrates a lot of how
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
chose
Wrong verb form
chooses
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 to interact with others
Change preposition
via
show examples
by
Change preposition
via
show examples
 the internet rather than do it physically, making the interaction between
people
decreases
Correct subject-verb agreement
decrease
show examples
.
Hence
, it is believed that the rapid development of gadgets will just
making
Change the verb form
make
be making
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
more and more
distance
Replace the word
distant
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,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online interaction is getting popular. In conclusion, my stance
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
 the argument
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 modern
technology
 is making
people
 less sociable. The internet
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 civilians to connect with others, yes, but the real face-to-face interaction is getting fewer, resulting in a sociable
deprived
Replace the word
deprivation
show examples
.
Submitted by asmaningrum2125 on

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