IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

Percentage of UK people who consumed daily recommended amount of fruit and vegetable in 2002, 2006 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#percentage #uk #people #amount #fruit #vegetable #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart illustrates the amount of
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 foods which were eaten by
famels
Correct your spelling
families
, men and children in the UK from 2002 to 2010. In general, the consumption of
fruit
Fix the agreement mistake
fruits
show examples
 and
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
 witnessed downup trend during the
last
 year . It can be noticed,
girls
Correct word choice
that girls
show examples
 had the highest percentage of consumption of
Correct article usage
the mention
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mention
Wrong verb form
mentioned
show examples
 foods. It was around 25./. in 2002 and increased to 26./. in 2006 before
deaclined
Correct your spelling
declined
 to 24./. in 2010.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
chlidren
Correct your spelling
children
 were not
prefrred
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to eat fruit and vegetable. it was only 11./. of children ate these
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 foods in 2002 and it went up slightly to 18./. in 2006 . And in 2006 , it
decresed
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decreased
 reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
16./. in 2010.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, men consumed around 22./. in 2002 and witnessed the same trend
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 women and children.
Submitted by itssaralshaibani on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you have a clear introduction, body and conclusion. The introduction should paraphrase the task and present the overview, while the conclusion should summarize the main trends or points.
coherence cohesion
Develop clear and logical paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a central idea with relevant details supporting it. Try to use a range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. Make sure to include comparisons, where relevant, and cover all the time-periods and categories given in the data.
task achievement
Use a range of vocabulary to clearly convey your ideas and make sure to present a comprehensive analysis of the data provided.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and data to support your descriptions of trends and comparisons. This will present a more detailed and accurate representation of the chart information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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