IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college
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There are two bar charts
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
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 in 2008. The first one is
give
Fix the infinitive
to give
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 information
abut
Correct your spelling
about
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decision
Correct article usage
the decision
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 of
undegraduate
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in the United Kingdom after
graduate
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
 and did not
full-time
Add a missing verb
do full-time
show examples
 work, and the second one
is illustrate
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
 about
destination
Add an article
the destination
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 of
postgraduate
Add an article
the postgraduate
a postgraduate
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 after they
finished
Wrong verb form
finish
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 their degree.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that the undergraduate student mostly continue their study into
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
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 step, which is into
Add an article
a master
the master
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master
Change noun form
master's
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 degree,
while
Linking Words
 the
postgraduate
Fix the agreement mistake
postgraduates
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 mainly take
further
Linking Words
 study
into
Change preposition
apply
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doctoral philosophy.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, about 29 thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
UK graduates choose to take
Correct article usage
a master
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master
Change noun form
master's
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 degree right after their finished undergrad, 17 thousand of them did
the
Correct article usage
a
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 part-time job, 16 thousand
still
Add a missing verb
are still
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unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
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, and the rest of them took voluntary work.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, from the
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
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, 2725 people
take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 the doctoral program to get
in deep
Correct word choice
in-depth
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 about their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
, 2535 did half
job
Correct pronoun usage
their job
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, 1625
still
Add a missing verb
were still
show examples
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
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, and 345 take opportunity to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
volunteer.
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduate
  • Postgraduate
  • Full-time work
  • Further education
  • Part-time work
  • Unemployment
  • Volunteering
  • Traveling
  • Gap year
  • Career progression
  • Job market
  • Transition
  • Academic life
  • Professional sphere
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Financial crisis
  • Long-term impact
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