IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
There are two bar charts
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
 in 2008. The first one is
give
Fix the infinitive
to give
show examples
 information
abut
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
decision
Correct article usage
the decision
show examples
 of
undegraduate
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in the United Kingdom after
graduate
Wrong verb form
graduating
show examples
 and did not
full-time
Add a missing verb
do full-time
show examples
 work, and the second one
is illustrate
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
 about
destination
Add an article
the destination
show examples
 of
postgraduate
Add an article
the postgraduate
a postgraduate
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 after they
finished
Wrong verb form
finish
show examples
 their degree.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that the undergraduate student mostly continue their study into
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
show examples
 step, which is into
Add an article
a master
the master
show examples
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
 degree,
while
Linking Words
 the
postgraduate
Fix the agreement mistake
postgraduates
show examples
 mainly take
further
Linking Words
 study
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doctoral philosophy.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, about 29 thousand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
UK graduates choose to take
Correct article usage
a master
show examples
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
 degree right after their finished undergrad, 17 thousand of them did
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 part-time job, 16 thousand
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
, and the rest of them took voluntary work.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, from the
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
, 2725 people
take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 the doctoral program to get
in deep
Correct word choice
in-depth
show examples
 about their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
, 2535 did half
job
Correct pronoun usage
their job
show examples
, 1625
still
Add a missing verb
were still
show examples
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
, and 345 take opportunity to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
volunteer.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduate
  • Postgraduate
  • Full-time work
  • Further education
  • Part-time work
  • Unemployment
  • Volunteering
  • Traveling
  • Gap year
  • Career progression
  • Job market
  • Transition
  • Academic life
  • Professional sphere
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Financial crisis
  • Long-term impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: