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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As a part of their education, many students work at a company for a short period of time without a salary. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to this?

#part #education #students #work #company #period #time #salary
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In the
education
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 scale, there is a moment when the student is willing to do an unpaid internship in a
company
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 for a short
time
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 as a
part
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 of the completion of their course.
However
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, in
this
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 essay, I strongly disagree with
this
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 issue because I believe there are more disadvantages side and I will explain below.
To begin
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 with, making
students
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work
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 in a
company
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 for free is justifying the bad behaviour of the
company
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 itself.
For example
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, the "Internship Free Program" created by the Ministry of
Education
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 of the Republic of Indonesia is a program to support the student in applying and
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
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 their skill in the real working world.
As a result
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, numerous firms in Indonesia are giving so many overload tasks
for
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to
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 their
intern
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 without paying.
This
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 condition starts to glorify the mean action of firms because they know the program is made by the Ministry and the student needs the job to complete their subject.
In addition
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, the government has a policy about
students
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 who
work
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 for short periods of
time
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 or Internships, and in that regulation said that every organisation who have an
Intern
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 should pay the
Intern
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. On the other side, the drawback of
students
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 who
work
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 for free is they will feel that they deserve to be not paid at all,
also
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, they will not realize their skills and potential are worth paying for.
For instance
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, the article which was released by Ecommurz, the forum for workers in Indonesia, showed that there is an
Intern
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 who works for a creative media agency, her name is Zara, and she said that she works overtime for the agency and always succeeds to reach the goal but the agency never give any cent as an appreciation for her because she was just an
Intern
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. The worst
part
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 is, that she thought it was normal. In conclusion, the drawbacks
part
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 of
students
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 who
work
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 in a firm but do not get a salary are bigger than the advantages section. The
company
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 should pay everyone who does an occupation, including
students
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. The fairness principle should be applied in all companies, and the government shall support all the regulations about fees for Internships to make everything come in a good way, both for
students
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 and for the
company
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.As a
part
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 of their
education
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, many
students
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work
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 at a
company
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 for a short period of
time
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 without a salary. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to
this
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?As a
part
Use synonyms
 of their
education
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, many
students
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work
Use synonyms
 at a
company
Use synonyms
 for a short period of
time
Use synonyms
 without a salary. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to
this
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?
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

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task response
Make sure your introduction clearly paraphrases the prompt and outlines the main points to be discussed.
task response
End the essay with a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
coherence and cohesion
Connect your ideas more clearly using cohesive devices (e.g., moreover, therefore, consequently).
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your paragraphs each have a clear main idea and adequate development.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, support your main points with a balanced discussion of both sides, even if you are arguing for one side.
task achievement
Provide clear real-life examples to support your arguments and make your essay more convincing.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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