Some people think young people are not suitable for important positions in the government,while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Every person whether young or experienced has the same opportunity to take on important
positions
in
government
structure
due to
their capability, academic background, etcetera. Some assume that young
people
are not proper enough for crucial
positions
,
while
others argue that it is a good idea for young
people
to take on these
positions
. The following essay will present both points of view about
this
phenomenon and present my point of view. On one hand, young
people
are more likely to bring much-needed change to the
government
's performance. With their updated knowledge and technology savviness, young
people
can upgrade the
government
’s system for better results if they are given the opportunity to occupy important
positions
in
government
. As an example, young
officials
with their modern knowledge of technology and creativity, can change the older
government
's system service from manual to electronic servicing, in cases
such
as making identity cards for residents.
Due to
the example that I mentioned above, I believe that giving important
positions
to young
people
is a good idea which can improve the
government
's performance. Many others,
however
, are opposed and believe that young
people
are not suitable for important
positions
in the
government
. They assume that young
people
are not proper enough for crucial
positions
because of some reasons like the lack of experience.
Besides
academic qualifications,to handle
government
affairs, the other skills that are required are
officials
must be good enough in management, communications and decision-making skills. These competencies are usually owned by senior
officials
rather than young
officials
, who have many experience for many years in
government
.
Consequently
,
this
argument makes some
people
believe that young
people
are not suitable for important
positions
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that giving the opportunity to young
people
in some strategic and important
positions
in the
government
is a good idea, but
also
in collaboration with senior
officials
. Eventually, the main factors for someone whether junior or senior to occupy important
positions
in the
government
are academic and management skills.
Submitted by Deddymus on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, ensure that your discussion of both viewpoints is balanced and fully developed. Provide clear, comprehensive ideas with a detailed explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
To strengthen your coherence and cohesion, focus on creating clear topic sentences and ensure subsequent sentences flow logically from them. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to create coherent paragraphs and aim for clear, logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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