Some people suggest that sport champions should be banned from television, meanwhile the others say it is allowed. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Several people propose that

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

competitions ought to be banned

being

Change preposition

from being

show examples

broadcasted

Wrong verb form

broadcast

show examples

television

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, whilst some argue that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

should be allowed.

This

Linking Words

essay disagrees with the notion that

television

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channels

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should not transmit

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sport

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sports

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championships as it is a form of entertainment for the majority of people, and because the

athletes

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that are telecasted are role models for many, especially the youth.

Sports

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channels

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that run sporting events,

such

Linking Words

sports

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champions,

exists

Correct subject-verb agreement

exist

show examples

as a source of enjoyment for their viewers. Banning the broadcast of

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

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competitions would deprive many of

this

Linking Words

joy and the

availibility

Correct your spelling

availability

to watch high-level performances from the

athletes

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Furthermore

Linking Words

, it could affect the

overall

Linking Words

television

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ratings and streaming revenues. A recent survey conducted by Kompas suggests that 72% of

television

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watchers are

sports

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enthusiasts, with the highest screen time accumulation spent on

sports

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channels

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. Many players in

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sport

Change the noun form

sports

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races can play a pivotal role in motivating youth today to engage in more physical activities.

This

Linking Words

is seen as a positive impact

for

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show examples

many children and teenagers, especially given the condition today's generation

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not keen

Change preposition

show examples

spending their time

to do

Change the verb form

doing

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outdoors

Replace the word

outdoor

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activities.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a significant amount of children and teenagers have a desire to follow in these

athletes

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' footsteps after following episodes of

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sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

championships aired on

television

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For instance

Linking Words

, research done on students at Jakarta Primary School concluded that the vast majority, 84% to be precise, dream to become

sportsman

Fix the agreement mistake

sportsmen

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after viewing

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sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

competitions with their parents at home. In conclusion, it is not necessary to prohibit

television

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channels

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from airing

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sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

champions since it gives positive contributions

such

Linking Words

as providing

enterntainment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

for

sports

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enthusiasts, and aspiring

athletes

Use synonyms

wannabees.

pink pantherSat Jan 27 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To further improve your score, you should ensure that your introduction sets the stage for the arguments you plan to make, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your points without introducing new information. Try to use a greater variety of sentence structures and connective phrases to enhance flow and cohesion between points.

Task Achievement

Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task by thoroughly discussing your position on the issue. A balanced argument that acknowledges the opposing viewpoint before justifying your own position may lend more depth to your response. Enhance task achievement by providing a clearer thesis statement and ensuring consistency in argument throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Role model
Inspire
Physical activity
Excellence
Entertainment
Deprive
High-level performance
Freedom of expression
Censorship
Precedent
Negative impact
Discernment
Parental guidance
Outright bans
Hero worship
Undue pressure
Unrealistic standards
Commodification
Profitability

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Some people suggest that sport champions should be banned from television, meanwhile the others say it is allowed. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Your opinion

Some people believe that professional, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training . Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both there views and give your own opinion.

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attraction.To what extend do you agree or disagree.

In many countries, the rate of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with this?

‏ ‏Children today spend more time watching television than they did in the ‏past. Describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television ‏for children. ‏