IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below show the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below show the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given line chart illustrates how much
fish
Use synonyms
 and other types of meat was consumed in a European country over the
period
Use synonyms
 of 25 years from 1979 to 2004. Units are measured in grams eaten per person per week.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that all of the
fish
Use synonyms
 and meat
consumption
Use synonyms
 fell throughout the given
period
Use synonyms
, with the exception of chicken.
Beef
Add an article
The beef
show examples
 was the highest
consumption
Use synonyms
 at the start,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it was
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
surpassed by chicken by the
end
Use synonyms
 of the
period
Use synonyms
. In terms of the highest
consumption
Use synonyms
at the
Linking Words
end
Use synonyms
, chicken started at just below 150 in 1979.
Then
Linking Words
, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced a moderate increase, before slightly
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
show examples
 to precisely 150 in the next 5 years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, It gradually incline and reached a peak of 250 by 2004. Regarding the other three consumptions, beef stood at about 220, became the highest
consumption
Use synonyms
, followed by lamb and
fish
Use synonyms
 which accounted for exactly 150 and over 50, respectively. Beef witnessed a fall to around 170.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dramatically surged to around 230, before
declined
Wrong verb form
declining
show examples
 and
hit
Wrong verb form
hitting
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 a trough
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 just above 100 by the
end
Use synonyms
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, lamb had a decrease since the beginning until it reached 70 in 2004.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
fish
Use synonyms
 saw a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 fall to just below 50 and remained steady until the
end
Use synonyms
 of intervals.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, period, consumption, end with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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