Some people say that excessive noise should be a criminal offence, while others say they should be free to make noise without limitation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some folks believe that there should be a punishment for being too loud, but others think that it should be their right to make as much
noise
as they want. This
essay agrees that there should be a punishment for making excessive noise
because it disturbs other people
, but, on the other hand
, sometimes excessive noise
is done
to alert Verb problem
made
people
with important information
. There should be further
considerations done
for the standard of what is allowed and what is not allowed.
Loud continuous Unnecessary verb
apply
noise
can be a disturbance to others, it can disturb people
when they need to concentrate, for example
when they are trying to study or work. When you are trying to concentrate, it is hard to do so when there are
a lot of unwanted Change the verb form
is
noise
around you. A recent study at one of the schools in Bandung showed that children concentrate better in a peaceful environment without noise
disturbances.
However
, the noise
deemed excessive sometimes serves a purpose. Mosques in Indonesia uses
outdoor loudspeakers in most of their activities, which becomes a Correct subject-verb agreement
use
noise
pollution and often disturbs students trying to study. But, it is also
used to share important news. For example
, a
research from a few years back in Indonesia finds that Remove the article
apply
mosque’s
Correct article usage
a mosque’s
soundsystem
is Correct your spelling
sound system
also
often used to alert nearby residents in the case of emergency news and the like. In spite of that, most of the time it is not used to share necessary information
. This
comes back to my initial point that the information
allowed to be played on loudspeakers should be filtered.
In conclusion, this
essay agrees that punishment should be given for excessive noise
, but on the other side, the noise
might sometimes be an important alert. For that reason, there should be a standard for what kind of information
allowed
to be shared in a style that can disturb Add a missing verb
is allowed
people
.Submitted by acupofbrownsugar
on
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Task Achievement
To enhance your score in task achievement, aim to develop your main ideas more comprehensively and provide a wider range of relevant, specific examples to support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure, with appropriate use of linking words and phrases. This will aid in the seamless transition between ideas and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
To strengthen your logical structure, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by subsequent sentences that develop that idea in a cohesive and coherent way.
Task Achievement
Remember to include a definitive conclusion that summarizes your key points and clearly states your own opinion, reinforced with supporting arguments from the preceding paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.