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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

This line chart diagram describes the price fluctuations of four types of bread in European nation from 2001 to 2005.

This line chart diagram describes the price fluctuations of four types of bread in European nation from 2001 to 2005.
This
Linking Words
 chart delineates the unstable pricing of four types of bread in
European
Change the article
the European
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 Nation between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2001 to 2005.
This
Linking Words
 chart includes wholegrain, brown, white, and rye.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that 3
Use synonyms
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of
breads
Change the wording
bread
pieces of bread
loaves of bread
slices of bread
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 starts at the same point
at
Change preposition
in
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 2001,
while
Linking Words
 one
type
Use synonyms
 of bread starts relatively higher. Despite that, these
Use synonyms
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of breads tend to have different different
prices
Change the noun form
price
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 adjustments. Brown, white, and rye start 2001 with 0.6 on their pricing. Brown and white rose prices to 1 and 1.4 respectively, before brown having different shifts to 1.6.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
white
Fix the agreement mistake
whites
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 gradually increased their price to 1.2.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we can see that even though
whitegrain
Correct your spelling
white grain
start
Wrong verb form
started
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 price at 0.8,
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
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 reached a peak
1.8
Change preposition
at 1.8
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,
this
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
 of bread ended
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 0.8. Alternatively, rye has a starting point similar to brown and white before remaining a stagnant growth to slightly under
whitegrain
Correct your spelling
white grain
 in the end.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words type with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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