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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#two #show #world #energy #consumption #electricity #generation #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The charts illustrate the amount of
world
Use synonyms
energy
Use synonyms
 usage and electricity production in the previous year.
Overall
Linking Words
, Coal has the largest percentage of
world
Use synonyms
 electrical generation at present but the power consumption is dominated by oil.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people
also
Linking Words
 use renewable
energy
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as combustible renewables and waste. Looking at the details, one-third of people in the
world
Use synonyms
 depend on oil for electrical sources. Followed by consumption of Coal and Gas around 25% and 20% respectively. Interestingly, there was
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 not produced in the
world
Use synonyms
 which combustible renewables and waste at 10%.
Then
Linking Words
, the remaining total
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
power consumption around 9% distributed by nuclear ,hydro and the others 6.5% , 2.2% ,and 1.4% respectively.
Energy
Use synonyms
 production was dominated by coal around 40%. There are three sources that have no significant gap between them ,Gas, Hydro and Nuclear which is 19%,16% and 15% respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, Oil has less production approximately 6% .
Lastly
Linking Words
, others
energy
Use synonyms
 the smallest amount of electricity generation about 2%.
Submitted by sintakristiani22 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words world, energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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