Some people believe that children have the freedom to make mistakes, while others argue that adults should prevent them from doing so. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Whether
kids
are able to make mistakes
has arose
Verb problem
raised
heat
discussion. Replace the word
heated
Someone
Correct your spelling
Some
claims
that Correct subject-verb agreement
claim
this
action is
ought to be avoided by Unnecessary verb
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
adults
. I am partially agree
with Change the verb form
partially agree
this
view.
To start with, the reason why young people will make an error is because they haven’t experienced enough. They still have curiosity to
those things, even though their parents or people Change preposition
about
surrounded
Wrong verb form
surrounding
said
not to do so. Correct pronoun usage
them said
For example
, kids
fall over on the street as they do not watch out the road during
running, which is reminded by their parents in advance. Change preposition
while
As a result
, these kids
feel hurt and will do that again because they know next time they will have a fall again if they do not be careful about
the road. What ‘s more, the methods or the solution Change preposition
on
that is
said to be correct are made from making mistakes
. If kids
do not have chance
to screw up things one or two times they will not grow up as they do not know how to make up for their Correct article usage
a chance
wrong
.
Fix the agreement mistake
wrongs
However
, some mistakes
cannot be allowed such
us
Correct your spelling
as
commit
Wrong verb form
committing
crime
, Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
violate
others and Wrong verb form
violating
take
drugs. Even though Wrong verb form
taking
adults
cannot control themselves from drugs
Fix the agreement mistake
drug
addicted
. Replace the word
addiction
Therefore
, Children do have freedom
to make an error but it depends on how severe the mistake is. Add an article
the freedom
Thus
Adults
should provide themAdd the preposition
with a
a
right value of judgement and prevent them Correct article usage
the
to violate
the law.
Change preposition
from violating
To conclude
, some small mistakes
can be made and adults
can give appropriate guidance to solve questions. But grown man
should not permit Fix the agreement mistake
men
kids
to break the law because they could not take price
of it.Add an article
the price
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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and fully developed. The introduction should clearly present the topic and outline the structure of your essay. The conclusion should summarize the main points made and restate your own opinion.
Logical Structure
Work on the logical flow of the essay. Connect your ideas more smoothly, and use a range of linking words and phrases to create a coherent argument. Paragraphs should have clear main ideas and all sentences should be relevant to the main topic.
Support and Examples
Offer more developed and specific examples to support your arguments. This strengthens your essay by providing evidence for your claims. Make sure the examples are directly relevant to the topic and clearly explained.
Task Completion
Fully address all parts of the task to ensure a complete response. This includes discussing both views and giving your own opinion with sufficient detail. Spend enough time fleshing out each part of the prompt to achieve a balanced essay.
Clarity and Comprehensiveness
Strive for clarity in expressing your ideas. Aim to express your points comprehensively with clarity and precision. Avoid ambiguity or overly complex structures that may confuse the reader.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example