IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Do you think that ocean exploration is as important as space exploration?

#ocean #exploration #space
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The question of whether
ocean
exploration
 is as important as space
exploration
 has become an integral part of the rising debate in the present world.
While
 proponents of the argument are in favour,
however
, the opponents are completely against the relevance of
ocean
exploration
. In my opinion, the importance of
ocean
exploration
 has more positive impacts than negative
around
Correct pronoun usage
ones around
show examples
 the globe. To commence with, there are a number of arguments in favour of my belief. The most prominent one is that we can discover new fish.
According to
 the research conducted by Western Sydney University, in recent
ocean
exploration
, they found three new types of fish.
Secondly
, we will get to know more about oceans.
On the other hand
, critics may point out that one of the most significant disadvantages of
ocean
exploration
 is that it will cost a lot of money.
For instance
, a survey conducted in the United States reveals that the total cost of recent
ocean
exploration
 is equal to the population in the world.
To conclude
, even when there are a lot of demerits associated with
ocean
exploration
. The advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and
ocean
exploration
 has become a crucial part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Therefore
, efficient use of
ocean
exploration
 should be promoted,
however
, its misuse should be condemned.
Submitted by zeshan.bilal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that the logical structure of the essay flows smoothly. Each paragraph should introduce a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that develop that idea. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs need to be clearer and more effective to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, the response must fully answer all parts of the prompt. Develop the main ideas more fully with detailed explanations and more relevant examples. Make sure to address the prompt directly and maintain a clear position throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: