IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

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Many students around the world have the opinion that working or travelling
Use synonyms
year
Correct article usage
a year
show examples
 before starting academic
study
Use synonyms
 is a good option.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the experience gained and
saving
Rephrase
how saving
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 money are the biggest advantages,
however
Linking Words
, reducing motivation to
study
Use synonyms
 and delaying careers are the main disadvantages. The main positive side of a gap
year
Use synonyms
 is a good opportunity to learn about the world and to
try
Add the particle
try to
show examples
 earn money for the future life.
Hence
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
be
Wrong verb form
are
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 more free and responsible by themselves.
However
Linking Words
, in many countries studying at university is expensive and
people
Use synonyms
 who just finished secondary school actually don`t have financial independence.
For instance
Linking Words
, In the USA academic programs cost approximately 10 000 $ per semester and many students drop off
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because they cannot afford to stay. The negative
effectof
Correct your spelling
effect of
abreak
Correct your spelling
a break
break
year
Use synonyms
 is many students lose their motivation to
study
Use synonyms
 and re-adapt to academic life after freelance pretty difficult.
As a result
Linking Words
, a lot of
people
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 nowadays do not have an academic diploma and they do not
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
show examples
 qualifications to increase their careers as
a professionals
Correct the article-noun agreement
a professional
professionals
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the USA the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 don`t have the
quialification
Correct your spelling
qualification
qualifications
 to apply for a job,
as a result
Linking Words
, they work as general workers and have limited opportunities to live. In conclusion, in some countries, young
people
Use synonyms
 think the gap
year
Use synonyms
 between school and university good chance to work and travel. If to the learn about the world and financial independence are the
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
, losing time , when they have enough energy to
study
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 university is a negative effect.

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Introduction
Refine your introduction by more clearly restating the question and outlining both advantages and disadvantages. This provides a clearer direction for your argument.
Paragraph
Improve coherence by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each containing one main idea. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence, followed by supporting details.
Conclusion
Your conclusion should clearly summarize your main points without introducing new information. Aim to provide a final thought based on your discussion.
Examples
Ensure you provide relevant examples to support your main points. While you mentioned some general examples, it would enhance your argument to give specific, detailed instances.
Clarity
Strive for clarity in your writing by using a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary. It's important to ensure your ideas are expressed comprehensively.
Grammar
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Misuse of these can make your essay harder to follow and can impact the reader's understanding of your argument.
Coherence
Use linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs, such as 'furthermore', 'on the contrary', 'for example', etc. This will help the flow of your essay and guide the reader through your argument.
Task Response
Repeat the task to make sure you have fully addressed all parts of the prompt. Both advantages and disadvantages must be considered equally.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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