In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Many students around the world have the opinion that working or travelling
year
before starting academic Correct article usage
a year
study
is a good option. This
essay will discuss about
the experience gained and Remove the preposition
apply
saving
money are the biggest advantages, Rephrase
how saving
however
, reducing motivation to study
and delaying careers are the main disadvantages.
The main positive side of a gap year
is a good opportunity to learn about the world and to try
earn money for the future life. Add the particle
try to
Hence
, young people
be
more free and responsible by themselves. Wrong verb form
are
However
, in many countries studying at university is expensive and people
who just finished secondary school actually don`t have financial independence. For instance
, In the USA academic programs cost approximately 10 000 $ per semester and many students drop off,
because they cannot afford to stay.
The negative Remove the comma
apply
effectof
Correct your spelling
effect of
abreak
Correct your spelling
a break
break
year
is many students lose their motivation to study
and re-adapt to academic life after freelance pretty difficult. As a result
, a lot of people
nowadays do not have an academic diploma and they do not enough
qualifications to increase their careers as Add a missing verb
have enough
a professionals
. Correct the article-noun agreement
a professional
professionals
For instance
, in the USA the majority of people
don`t have the quialification
to apply for a job, Correct your spelling
qualification
qualifications
as a result
, they work as general workers and have limited opportunities to live.
In conclusion, in some countries, young people
think the gap year
between school and university good chance to work and travel. If to the learn about the world and financial independence are the benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
effect
, losing time , when they have enough energy to Fix the agreement mistake
effects
study
in
university is a negative effect.Change preposition
at
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Introduction
Refine your introduction by more clearly restating the question and outlining both advantages and disadvantages. This provides a clearer direction for your argument.
Paragraph
Improve coherence by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each containing one main idea. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence, followed by supporting details.
Conclusion
Your conclusion should clearly summarize your main points without introducing new information. Aim to provide a final thought based on your discussion.
Examples
Ensure you provide relevant examples to support your main points. While you mentioned some general examples, it would enhance your argument to give specific, detailed instances.
Clarity
Strive for clarity in your writing by using a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary. It's important to ensure your ideas are expressed comprehensively.
Grammar
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Misuse of these can make your essay harder to follow and can impact the reader's understanding of your argument.
Coherence
Use linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs, such as 'furthermore', 'on the contrary', 'for example', etc. This will help the flow of your essay and guide the reader through your argument.
Task Response
Repeat the task to make sure you have fully addressed all parts of the prompt. Both advantages and disadvantages must be considered equally.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...