In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Many students around the world have the opinion that working or travelling
year
Correct article usage
a year
show examples
before starting academic
study
is a good option.
This
essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the experience gained and
saving
Rephrase
how saving
show examples
money are the biggest advantages,
however
, reducing motivation to
study
and delaying careers are the main disadvantages. The main positive side of a gap
year
is a good opportunity to learn about the world and to
try
Add the particle
try to
show examples
earn money for the future life.
Hence
, young
people
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
more free and responsible by themselves.
However
, in many countries studying at university is expensive and
people
who just finished secondary school actually don`t have financial independence.
For instance
, In the USA academic programs cost approximately 10 000 $ per semester and many students drop off
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they cannot afford to stay. The negative
effectof
Correct your spelling
effect of
abreak
Correct your spelling
a break
break
year
is many students lose their motivation to
study
and re-adapt to academic life after freelance pretty difficult.
As a result
, a lot of
people
nowadays do not have an academic diploma and they do not
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
show examples
qualifications to increase their careers as
a professionals
Correct the article-noun agreement
a professional
professionals
show examples
.
For instance
, in the USA the majority of
people
don`t have the
quialification
Correct your spelling
qualification
qualifications
to apply for a job,
as a result
, they work as general workers and have limited opportunities to live. In conclusion, in some countries, young
people
think the gap
year
between school and university good chance to work and travel. If to the learn about the world and financial independence are the
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
, losing time , when they have enough energy to
study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university is a negative effect.
Submitted by janmuldayevaa1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Refine your introduction by more clearly restating the question and outlining both advantages and disadvantages. This provides a clearer direction for your argument.
Paragraph
Improve coherence by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each containing one main idea. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence, followed by supporting details.
Conclusion
Your conclusion should clearly summarize your main points without introducing new information. Aim to provide a final thought based on your discussion.
Examples
Ensure you provide relevant examples to support your main points. While you mentioned some general examples, it would enhance your argument to give specific, detailed instances.
Clarity
Strive for clarity in your writing by using a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary. It's important to ensure your ideas are expressed comprehensively.
Grammar
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Misuse of these can make your essay harder to follow and can impact the reader's understanding of your argument.
Coherence
Use linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs, such as 'furthermore', 'on the contrary', 'for example', etc. This will help the flow of your essay and guide the reader through your argument.
Task Response
Repeat the task to make sure you have fully addressed all parts of the prompt. Both advantages and disadvantages must be considered equally.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!