IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Of all the global environmental problems, desertification is, perhaps, the most threatening for poor rural people. Desertification is the expansion of desert lands into previously non-desert areas. What are the causes and consequences of desertification? How can this issue be solved ?

#desertification #people #expansion #desert #lands #non-desert #areas #consequences
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Nawadays
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
,one of the global environmental
problemes
Correct your spelling
problems
show examples
,is desertification,
that is
Verb problem
which
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caused
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
 the
land
Fix the infinitive
to turns
show examples
turns
Correct subject-verb agreement
turn
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 into
desert
Correct article usage
a desert
show examples
.
This
 problem can associated with eating all the plants by animals,and cutting down too many
trees
 which causes the
land
Fix the infinitive
to turns
show examples
turns
Correct subject-verb agreement
turn
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 into
deforestration
Correct your spelling
deforestation
.
As well as
 the way
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
harmful farming
that
is influenced
Wrong verb form
influences
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
land
 and
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 it dry. These problems can be addressed by controlling animals's food and planting more
trees
,and
also
 by changing farming
methods
. Desertification is a very serious problem that
threats
Replace the word
threaten
show examples
 our lives in the future.
For example
 in Iran,drought is a big problem for
this
 country,and it is suffering from
water
Correct article usage
a water
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 deficit,especially
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the poor rural areas.
Firstly
, animals eat all the plants in all areas and human beings are cutting too many
trees
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
makeing
Correct your spelling
making
 their means or exporting their
woods
Fix the agreement mistake
wood
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 to other countries
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is
Change the verb form
are
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increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 deserts.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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 traditional farming
methods
 harm
land
Add an article
the land
show examples
.Farmers always use too much water and chemicals which
is affected
Wrong verb form
affects
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
land
. To tackle these problems,it is
necessery
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to graze ranches in one area for a
while
 and
then
 move them to another.
On the other hand
 ,local governments should control people by strict
provision
Fix the agreement mistake
provisions
show examples
 to reduce cutting down
trees
 and to force them to plant more
trees
 in order to afforestation which is like giving
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
land
 a green blancket .
Additionally
, encourage
farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
show examples
 to use smart
methods
 of farming to save more water . It can help the
land
 to remain healthy and productive. These
methods
 will give them advice to reduce
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
show examples
 as well. In conclusion,desertification is
increasingly
Change the word
increasing
show examples
 dramatically and is
threatining
Correct your spelling
threatening
 the whole world.so it should be fixed by changing the
methods
 of farming and by
stoping
Correct your spelling
stopping
show examples
animalls
Correct your spelling
animals
to do not
Verb problem
from
show examples
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 all the plants and
also
 by controlling people to plant
trees
 more than cut them down.
Submitted by sinamousavi078 on

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structure
Ensure you use a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be followed by supporting sentences.
cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas and create a better flow throughout your essay. For example, 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' 'However,' and 'Therefore' can guide the reader through your argument.
task response
Your response needs to address all parts of the question in a more detailed manner, including causes, consequences, and solutions to desertification. Expand each part with more in-depth explanations and examples.
grammar
Work on punctuation, grammatical accuracy, and sentence structure for greater clarity and precision in your writing. This will also contribute to the overall coherence of your essay.
vocabulary
Introduce a wider range of vocabulary, particularly related to the topic of environmental issues and desertification. Use specific terms correctly to demonstrate topic knowledge.
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