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Writing Samples
Band 4

Of all the global environmental problems, desertification is, perhaps, the most threatening for poor rural people. Desertification is the expansion of desert lands into previously non-desert areas. What are the causes and consequences of desertification? How can this issue be solved ?

#desertification #people #expansion #desert #lands #non-desert #areas #consequences
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Nawadays
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
,one of the global environmental
problemes
Correct your spelling
problems
show examples
,is desertification,
Linking Words
that is
Verb problem
which
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caused
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
 the
land
Use synonyms
Fix the infinitive
to turns
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turns
Correct subject-verb agreement
turn
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 into
desert
Correct article usage
a desert
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 problem can associated with eating all the plants by animals,and cutting down too many
trees
Use synonyms
 which causes the
land
Use synonyms
Fix the infinitive
to turns
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turns
Correct subject-verb agreement
turn
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 into
deforestration
Correct your spelling
deforestation
.
As well as
Linking Words
 the way
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
harmful farming
that
Linking Words
is influenced
Wrong verb form
influences
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on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
land
Use synonyms
 and
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 it dry. These problems can be addressed by controlling animals's food and planting more
trees
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,and
also
Linking Words
 by changing farming
methods
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. Desertification is a very serious problem that
threats
Replace the word
threaten
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 our lives in the future.
For example
Linking Words
 in Iran,drought is a big problem for
this
Linking Words
 country,and it is suffering from
water
Correct article usage
a water
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 deficit,especially
for
Change preposition
in
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 the poor rural areas.
Firstly
Linking Words
, animals eat all the plants in all areas and human beings are cutting too many
trees
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for
Change preposition
to
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makeing
Correct your spelling
making
 their means or exporting their
woods
Fix the agreement mistake
wood
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 to other countries
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is
Change the verb form
are
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increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 deserts.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 traditional farming
methods
Use synonyms
 harm
Use synonyms
land
Add an article
the land
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.Farmers always use too much water and chemicals which
is affected
Wrong verb form
affects
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to
Change preposition
apply
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the
land
Use synonyms
. To tackle these problems,it is
necessery
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to graze ranches in one area for a
while
Linking Words
 and
then
Linking Words
 move them to another.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,local governments should control people by strict
provision
Fix the agreement mistake
provisions
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 to reduce cutting down
trees
Use synonyms
 and to force them to plant more
trees
Use synonyms
 in order to afforestation which is like giving
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
land
Use synonyms
 a green blancket .
Additionally
Linking Words
, encourage
farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
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 to use smart
methods
Use synonyms
 of farming to save more water . It can help the
land
Use synonyms
 to remain healthy and productive. These
methods
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 will give them advice to reduce
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
show examples
 as well. In conclusion,desertification is
increasingly
Change the word
increasing
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 dramatically and is
threatining
Correct your spelling
threatening
 the whole world.so it should be fixed by changing the
methods
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 of farming and by
stoping
Correct your spelling
stopping
show examples
animalls
Correct your spelling
animals
to do not
Verb problem
from
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eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 all the plants and
also
Linking Words
 by controlling people to plant
trees
Use synonyms
 more than cut them down.
Submitted by sinamousavi078 on

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structure
Ensure you use a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be followed by supporting sentences.
cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas and create a better flow throughout your essay. For example, 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' 'However,' and 'Therefore' can guide the reader through your argument.
task response
Your response needs to address all parts of the question in a more detailed manner, including causes, consequences, and solutions to desertification. Expand each part with more in-depth explanations and examples.
grammar
Work on punctuation, grammatical accuracy, and sentence structure for greater clarity and precision in your writing. This will also contribute to the overall coherence of your essay.
vocabulary
Introduce a wider range of vocabulary, particularly related to the topic of environmental issues and desertification. Use specific terms correctly to demonstrate topic knowledge.
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