IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

To what extent do you think that cashless transactions will replace traditional money?

#cashless #transactions #money
The question
whether
Change preposition
of whether
show examples
cashless
transactions
 will replace traditional money or not has become an integral part of the rising debate in the present world.
While
 proponents of the argument are in favour,
however
, the opponents are completely against the relevance of
cashless
transactions
. In my opinion,
cashless
transactions
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 more positive impacts than negative around the globe. To commence with, there are a number of arguments in favour of my belief. The most prominent one is that
cashless
transactions
 are faster than traditional money.
According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Western Sydney University,
transactions
 done online are faster than offline
transactions
.
Secondly
,
cashless
transactions
 are traceable.
On the other hand
, critics may point out that one of the most significant disadvantages of
cashless
transactions
 is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly people will find it difficult to use
cashless
transactions
. A survey conducted in the United States reveals that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
elderly people do
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
cashless
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
 in the
last
 year.
To conclude
, even when there are a lot of demerits associated with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cashless
transactions
, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, the
cashless
transactions
 have become
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 crucial part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Therefore
,
efficient
Correct article usage
the efficient
show examples
 use of
cashless
transactions
 should be promoted,
however
, its misuse should be condemned.
Submitted by zeshan.bilal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the paragraphs are arranged in a logical sequence. Provide more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
Address the task thoroughly, ensuring you cover all aspects of the prompt. While you have stated your opinion, consider exploring a wider range of arguments and implications of cashless transactions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: