Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
It has become apparent that
,
the foods and beverages that are produced today contain high concentrations of Remove the comma
apply
sugar
which causes various Use synonyms
health
defects. Use synonyms
However
, I disagree with the solution Linking Words
that is
raised for the issue and in Linking Words
this
essay, I will analytically discuss the reasons for my disagreement.
The first and foremost reason is, that the majority of sugary products are essential components of our everyday diet. Linking Words
For example
, bread, rice and pasta are considered staple foods because they contribute significant amounts of calories to our regular body functions. Linking Words
People
should obtain Use synonyms
the
average of three thousand kilo calories of energy per day and more than Correct article usage
an
two third
of it comes from above mentioned starchy food items. Increasing prices of Correct your spelling
two-thirds
this
stuff would negatively affect Linking Words
people
’s Use synonyms
health
and well-being, thereby, the public will suffer from malnutrition.
On top of that, Use synonyms
although
sugary products are made out of the price range of the general public, the occurrence of Linking Words
health
issues will not be stopped unless Use synonyms
people
are educated regarding healthy habits. Not only the consumption of sweet productsUse synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
the over-consumption of starchy foods are Linking Words
also
not beneficial for Linking Words
health
because they indirectly add Use synonyms
a substantial amounts
of Correct the article-noun agreement
a substantial amount
substantial amounts
sugar
to the body. Use synonyms
For example
, it has been scientifically proven thatLinking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
people
who eat more than three hundred grams of starch, have a risk of getting diabetes. Use synonyms
Therefore
, it is mandatory to make Linking Words
people
aware of the importance of a balanced diet and the consequences of taking excess amounts of Use synonyms
sugar
. Use synonyms
This
way eventually reduces the high Linking Words
sugar
intake of Use synonyms
people
and thereby, the government do not need to impose higher prices for sugary items.
In conclusion, price increments will negatively impact regular staple diets as well. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
the
better solution is to raise public awareness regarding healthy food habits and issues of excessive consumption of sweets. Through Correct article usage
a
this
, Linking Words
people
will gradually move away from higher sweet intake and thereby, reduce the risk of non-communicable diseases.Use synonyms
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Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address the essay question and clearly state your position in the introduction. For instance, you can do this by using phrases like 'I firmly disagree with the notion that...' to make your stance immediately clear.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your paragraphs with a single main idea each, preceded by a topic sentence and followed by supporting details and examples. This will strengthen the cohesion of your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilize a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively. However, avoid overusing them to ensure the essay flows naturally.
Task Achievement
In the conclusion, succinctly summarize your points and clearly restate your position without introducing new arguments.
Task Achievement
Enhance your task achievement score by providing more relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. For enhanced effectiveness, draw on real-world data or studies where possible.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your main ideas are relevant to the central topic and directly answer the question posed. Each paragraph should contribute clearly to the overall argument you are making.