IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The supplied map gives information about the current plan for Grange
Park
as well as
 the previous plan in 1920.
Overall
, the
park
 has been noticeably altered over the given period
To begin
 with, in the past, there was a stage for musicians on the west side of the
park
 surrounded by a circle rose garden on the north and south sides of it. In the present design,
this
 area has been demolished and a new Amphitheatre for concerts has been built
instead
 on the edge of the west of the
park
while
 the rose garden has remained on the north. Regarding the
park
's centre, a Fountain was replaced by a square rose garden, and seating areas that moved from the west are around it
In addition
,
however
, the two main entrances of the
park
 have not changed over the years, to the east corner of the
park
, there is an additional entrance added for the underground car
park
, and at the same time, the glasshouses at
this
 area are completely changed to be a water feature. The RoseGardenn and pond for water plants are replaced by a new cafe and constructed playing area for children. In conclusion,
however
, the
park
 experienced a significant alteration, there is a clear development by adding a variety of facilities and entertainment.
Submitted by dentdent4 on

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task achievement
To improve your score in 'Task Achievement', make sure that you cover all parts of the task evenly, providing a balanced summary of the main features without focusing too much on one aspect of the plan. Additionally, ensure that your ideas always directly relate to the question and include more specific examples if possible.
coherence cohesion
For better 'Coherence and Cohesion', focus on organizing your essay with clear paragraphing, and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Introduce your main points clearly and ensure that the logical sequence of information is maintained throughout. Remember to include an introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points without adding new information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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