Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring advantages or disadvantages?

#home #hands #machines

The technology of automation has infiltrated almost every business in the world, substituting manpower by streamlining processes and making them substantially faster with

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

discrepancies. I personally hold the view that the existing pace of automation of

labour-orianted

Correct your spelling

labour-oriented

processes at home exhibits strengths only.

First

Add an article

The first

show examples

salient advantage of having automated processes is the enhanced efficiency. I believe

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

a majority of the food we consume should better be prepared with

machines

to cope

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with rising market demand.

For instance

people

used to produce their own

pastas

Change the wording

pasta

kinds of pasta

portions of pasta

plates of pasta

show examples

, resulting in a lot of clean-up and

time-loss

Correct your spelling

time loss

show examples

However

, they can now purchase or even order

factory made

Add a hyphen

factory-made

show examples

pastas

Change the wording

pasta

kinds of pasta

portions of pasta

plates of pasta

show examples

from the nearest grocery stores at a

considreably

Correct your spelling

considerably

cheaper price.

Additionally

, the pharmaceutical industry has undergone a massive improvement after the application of automated equipment in the production lines, sky

rocketting

Correct your spelling

rocketing

the produced medicine volumes which used to be part of a

home made

Correct your spelling

homemade

show examples

solution.

Moreover

, as of now, a big portion of the daily household jobs that

once

Add a missing verb

were once

show examples

done by

hands

Fix the agreement mistake

hand

show examples

were replaced with modern and comprehensive machinery, saving them time and resources. To illustrate, in the past,

people

used to hand wash dishes,

whereas

now they have dishwashing

machines

that can clean far more efficiently than a human could manage.

Furthermore

, the invention of vacuum

machines

has compelled

people

to gravitate towards embracing technology rather than

resist

Wrong verb form

resisting

show examples

it. In conclusion, despite some

people

perceive

Wrong verb form

perceiving

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology as

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show examples

enemy that wants to relegate humanity, I

beleive

Correct your spelling

believe

with

Correct word choice

that with

show examples

the help of these upgraded

machines

humanity can make life easier for

people

to designate time for more prioritized tasks.

Submitted by orkhanshamil on Sun Jan 28 2024

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task achievement

Ensure to address both advantages and disadvantages to fully respond to the prompt, as the question asks you to discuss both.

coherence and cohesion

Use a range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay and signal relationships between ideas.

coherence and cohesion

A clear thesis statement in the introduction could strengthen the position and provide a roadmap for the reader.

task achievement

Introduce a counter-argument or a disadvantage to balance your essay and show analytical thinking.

task achievement

Expand your conclusion to summarise both sides of the argument, even if your position leans towards one side.

task achievement

Offer specific examples to support your arguments, which strengthens the effectiveness of your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

automation
domestic help
smart home technologies
energy-efficient
resource depletion
over-dependence
external services
maintenance
replacements
leisure activities
tedious tasks

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Many things that used to be done in home by hands are now being done by machines . Does it bring advantages or disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Increasıng the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Some people think that the government should offer financial support and care to old people, while others think people should save money for their future life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some countries have introduced a law to eliminate working hours for employees. Why is this law introduced. Do you think it is a negative or positive development.