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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some think increasing business and cultural contact between nations is positive. Others think it leads to the disappearance of the national identity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

#think #business #contact #nations #disappearance #identity
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While
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 a faction of
population
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the population
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 holds the notion that
business
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 and cultural mingling between the
countries
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 leads to loose
individual
Correct article usage
the individual
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identity
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 of nations, others argue that it will not affect the
identity
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 of the country.
This
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 essay will delve into both viewpoints and explain my support for the latter view with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, the advocates for individual country
identity
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 preservation claim that each nation
have
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has
show examples
 their own cultural and
business
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 background which should be preserved.
In other words
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,
diversity
Correct article usage
the diversity
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 of each country is
paramound
Correct your spelling
paramount
,
therefore
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, the local
culture
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 and
business
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 should be preserved as it is, and
it
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they
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 should not be integrated with foreign
culture
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.
For example
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, Australian traditional cultures
affected
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were affected
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 by mass migration in
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the ninteenth
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ninteenth
Correct your spelling
nineteenth
 century.
Similarly
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, the local
business
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 should be protected to enhance the economic development of the area. Local businesses will create more jobs for local people which should not be overlooked.
Nevertheless
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,
Although
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 local
business
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 and
culture
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 should be protected,
migling
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mingling
 with people from
different
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the different
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 cultural
background
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backgrounds
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 will
develope
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develop
 brotherhood between nations. In detail, the understanding between different cultures and
integration
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the integration
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 of businesses will help to reduce
dispute
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disputes
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 between
countires
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countries
.
This
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 might
helps
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help
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 to significantly increase the bilateral
relationship
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 between
countries
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. To illustrate, it is true that culturally similar nations have more diplomatic
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relationship
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relationships
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 than other
countries
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.
Moreover
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, international
business
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relation
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relations
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 in essential for certain sectors, especially in
medical
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the medical
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 sector.
For example
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, during
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the COVID
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COVID 19
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COVID-19
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pandamic
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pandemic
 international trading
partnership
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partnerships
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 helps
the
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apply
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countries
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to
Verb problem
apply
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secure
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical equipment and supplies. In conclusion,
Although
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 local
culture
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 and
business
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require
Wrong verb form
are required
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 to preserve
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individual
identity
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, the bilateral
relationship
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 is
imperital
Correct your spelling
imperative
 for
develop
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developing
show examples
 brotherhood and international
business
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. In my opinion, the bilateral
relationship
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 is essential for a better world.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to present ideas clearly and distinctly in separate paragraphs, each with a topic sentence and supporting sentences that expand on the main idea.
Task Achievement
Develop paragraphs further with more detailed examples and explanations to back up your arguments, enhancing the depth of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your ideas, ensuring each paragraph connects smoothly to the next with appropriate use of linking words and phrases.
Task Achievement
Ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your argument and clearly states your opinion, to leave a strong final impression.
Coherence & Cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better readability.
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