Some sports are extremely dangerous for those who play them. Why do people participate in such sports? What measures could they take to minimize the risk involved?
There is no doubt that there are numerous
sports
availiable
all around the world which Correct your spelling
available
involves
performing dangerous stunts and Correct subject-verb agreement
involve
risk
their lives for it . I will explain in Wrong verb form
risking
this
essay that
why Correct word choice
apply
athlete
like to participate in that Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
kind
of games
and what Fix the agreement mistake
game
kind
of measures should sportsmen take to lower the risk in the
Correct article usage
apply
sports
.
First,
people usually partcipate
in Correct your spelling
participate
those
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
kind
of activities due to
adrenaline
rush and Correct article usage
the adrenaline
also
due to
pressure from social media . To illustrate , sports
person
like to push himself
to Correct pronoun usage
themselves
next
level always until they Correct article usage
the next
did not
reach their target and Verb problem
apply
this
perhaps boost
their motivation power to play more . Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
Futhermore
, some Correct your spelling
Furthermore
sportsperson
perform Fix the agreement mistake
sportspersons
this activities
for social media because Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
Add an article
the audience
audience
always critics about Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
the
performance of Change the word
their
sports
person
and this
build
pressure Correct subject-verb agreement
builds
for
Change preposition
on
indviduals
to give extra ordinary Correct your spelling
individuals
performance
to Fix the agreement mistake
performances
audience
so that they write good comments and validate Add an article
the audience
an audience
his
performance in Correct pronoun usage
their
positive
way .
Change the article
a positive
However
, those kind
of dangerous sports
always come with risks . For instance
, sportsman
who Add an article
a sportsman
do
scuba diving has the Change the verb form
does
chances
to lose oxygen at some level and the Fix the agreement mistake
chance
person
could die if training is not proper . Therefore
, proper training with risk
assessment plan Correct article usage
a risk
given
to Add a missing verb
is given
athlestes
before participating Correct your spelling
athletes
to
any game . Change preposition
in
Also
, safety equipments
provided to athletes to prevent Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
from
injury . Change preposition
apply
For instance
, cricket
batsman wear Correct article usage
a cricket
helmet
in the field in order to prevent his face from Add an article
a helmet
high
speed Correct word choice
apply
ball
coming towards him.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
balls
Training
plan is essential for each Add an article
a Training
the Training
sports
Correct your spelling
sportsperson
person
before participating into
Change preposition
in
sports
to reduce their chances of injury . Also
, government
should implement more rules and regulations for the safety measures of Add an article
the government
sports
person
in the field and Fix the agreement mistake
persons
also
check safety procedures after 4 months .Submitted by kmlchahal97 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the main points of the given topic; however, it falls short of expanding on those points with in-depth explanations and relevant examples. Provide more detailed explanations or case studies to thoroughly support your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is adequately maintained. To improve, consider organizing your ideas more clearly by using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, and make the progression of your arguments more evident through improved transitions between points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but could be improved by making your thesis statement and concluding remarks more impactful. Be sure to restate your main points and provide a concise summary or final thoughts in your conclusion.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...