IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think visual images, such as photographs and videos, can most accurately inform people about a news story. Others believe they are not reliable sources of information. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Although
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 some
individuals
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 supposed that visual
images
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,
such
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 as photographs and
videos
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, can most accurately inform
people
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 about
news
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story
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stories
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, another group of
people
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 thought
such
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 visual
images
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 are not reliable
sources
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 of
information
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. In my perspective visual
images
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 would not be an accurate source of
information
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 to inform
people
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 about a
news
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 story as the evolution of technology nowadays could create fake
images
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 and
videos
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. With regards to visual
images
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 as a tool to provide useful
information
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, many of the reporters would use
this
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 as a way to provide the latest
news
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society and local communities.
For instance
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, the latest
news
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 of the earthquake in Japan,
pictures
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 and
videos
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 were released by one of the newspaper agencies in Japan
allow
Wrong verb form
allowing
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 the local communities to understand more about the situation over there.
As a result
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, local
people
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 are aware of the incident and giving
out
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apply
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their helping hand towards the victims in Japan
whereas
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 without the visual
images
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 provided by them, it
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 be difficult for
individuals
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 to get to know about
this
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.
On the other hand
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, with the development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology, many
people
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 are good
in
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at
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 using devices
such
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computers
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as computers
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, laptops, and cell phones, which they use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to do some editing work. There are many applications
in
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on
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 the website that allow
individuals
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 to do editing which they can match two or more
pictures
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 together to form new
pictures
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 or
videos
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.
Consequently
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,
people
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 are able to release fake
news
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 using those edited
pictures
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 or
videos
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in
Change preposition
on
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 social media.
Due to
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this
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 reason, the local communities think
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
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 of the
news
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 not accurate and the
pictures
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 and
videos
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 provided are not reliable
sources
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. In my opinion, with the advancement of technology,
pictures
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 and
videos
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 are not reliable
sources
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 to inform
people
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 about
news
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 as some
individuals
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 will use edited
pictures
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 and
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
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 to
committing
Wrong verb form
commit
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 crimes
such
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 as scamming.
For instance
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, some fake
pictures
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 or
videos
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 can
deliver
Wrong verb form
be delivered
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 to someone or someone's family to ask for money.In
such
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 a case, many
people
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 are losing their money
due to
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 the fake
news
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 that
given
Add a missing verb
is given
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 by
an
Correct article usage
apply
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unknown
people
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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 visual
images
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such
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 as
pictures
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 and
videos
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 can help
individuals
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in understanding
Change preposition
understand
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 more about the
news
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,
however
Linking Words
, it will not be reliable
sources
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 of
information
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 for someone as
people
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 can always create
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
fake
pictures
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 and
videos
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 to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for other purposes.

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Introduction
Make sure your essay has a clear introductory paragraph where you paraphrase the question and outline your main points. Your introduction appears to jump straight into the argument without setting the context.
Development of Ideas
Develop your ideas more fully by providing more detailed examples and explanations for each view. Keep in mind depth is better than breadth when discussing points.
Task Response
Work on formulating a clear position throughout your essay. While you do provide an opinion, sometimes the argument feels one-sided without proper exploration of the counter-argument.
Paragraph Structure
Ensure your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing. Each paragraph should have one main idea with supporting sentences that stick to the point.
Cohesive Devices
Use cohesive devices (e.g., 'On the other hand,' 'Furthermore') to help structure your essay and guide the reader through your arguments.
Sentence Variety
Use a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate your grammatical range.
Conclusion
Your conclusion should effectively summarize the main points of your essay and restate your own opinion. Make sure it is clear and direct, relating back to the essay question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Photographic evidence
  • Visual documentation
  • Media manipulation
  • Out of context
  • Authenticity
  • Sensationalism
  • Fact-checking
  • Comprehensive coverage
  • Corroborating evidence
  • Journalistic integrity
What to do next:
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