«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that numerous
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
having difficulties
to maintain
Change the verb form
maintaining
show examples
their regular life
while
some digital creators are being paid vast
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of money.
While
other
believes
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believe
show examples
that some possible steps should be taken by the Government to address
this
imbalanced issue,
i
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I
show examples
supposed
Add a missing verb
am supposed
show examples
to be
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
opposite thinker. To commence with, survival needs are tough to attain for some artist because of the lowest payment
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
their digital field.
Therefore
, it is
considerd
Correct your spelling
considered
as a non-fair method to an artist
while
they do not get enough money as they expected.
For instance
, the proportion of digital marketing known as
primary
Add an article
the primary
show examples
stage is designed with
low cost
Add a hyphen
low-cost
show examples
materials as they
minimul
Correct your spelling
minimal
amount
to their
workers
.
As a result
, compared to the lower stage, the premium surface is more developed and costlier as well. Modern developers would remain
unexpert
Correct word choice
inexperienced
show examples
if they get paid as same as more expert creators.
Thus
, every part of art should be organised by the level of cost and pay
according to
the difficulties in making progress. In
this
way , experienced
workers
will get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
fair
amount
and newbies
are
Verb problem
will
show examples
also
be treated as their experience.
Moreover
, governmental decisions
for paying
Change preposition
to pay
show examples
fair
Add an article
a fair
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
digital
workers
could be
detrimenal
Correct your spelling
detrimental
for private developers as they need high security and diverse options for their clients.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
situation,
tremendous
Change the article
a tremendous
the tremendous
show examples
number of new
creator
Fix the agreement mistake
creators
show examples
will be diminished
due to
the reason of hiring only
well knowledge
Add a hyphen
well-knowledge
show examples
people.
Moreover
,
workers
should be rewarded based on their work not on ethical
senses
Fix the agreement mistake
sense
show examples
of humor.
To conclude
, though
non-balanced
Correct article usage
a non-balanced
show examples
payment method could
led
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lead
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
fighting
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to fight
show examples
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
life ,
nevertheless
, everyone should not judge on the same
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cost.
Submitted by farjanaakterrikta8 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion that clearly state your position on the topic and succinctly summarize your main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your main points more thoroughly with explanations and relevant, specific examples to effectively support your arguments.
Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
Use examples to illustrate your points where possible, but be sure they are relevant and enhance the understanding of your argument.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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