Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The intervention of the
government
Use synonyms
to have access towards
people
Use synonyms
's gizmo,
such
Linking Words
as call
records
Use synonyms
and messages, has become debatable today. Some contend that the
government
Use synonyms
should allow
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
do that for public
security
Use synonyms
reasons,
while
Linking Words
others argue that it is too private information to give.
This
Linking Words
essay will examine both views before presenting a concerned conclusion. On one hand, proponents of
this
Linking Words
view believe that giving
citizens
Use synonyms
call
records
Use synonyms
and
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
show examples
is important to enhance national public
security
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because a study reveals that there is an increasing number of black market cases that have been done by many
people
Use synonyms
through having a secret call with others as their transaction.
For example
Linking Words
, individual
people
Use synonyms
sell personal
data
Use synonyms
from public figures on the black market secretly to get profits. If the
government
Use synonyms
has
citizens
Use synonyms
' phone
data
Use synonyms
, there is a possibility for tracking unusual conversations which potentially
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to harm to public
security
Use synonyms
. So that
this
Linking Words
problem might be prevented.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents think that providing communication
records
Use synonyms
on our phones free access for the
government
Use synonyms
can result in negative effects. One of them is that
people
Use synonyms
will have an apprehensive feeling about realizing that the
government
Use synonyms
can freely check their daily conversation because it is too private.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they might declare a
critic
Replace the word
criticism
show examples
on social media or show a demonstration directly to the
government
Use synonyms
. From my perspective, both views are valid but it will be better to let the
government
Use synonyms
have all of the
data
Use synonyms
records
Use synonyms
for public
security
Use synonyms
importance.
However
Linking Words
, the ruler should make a strict rule to ensure
citizens
Use synonyms
'
data
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
being shared publicly.
In other words
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
data
Use synonyms
is just meant for the ruler and should be used wisely. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
some worry about sharing their call
records
Use synonyms
and messages with the
government
Use synonyms
, others believe that
this
Linking Words
action should be allowed for public
security
Use synonyms
safety. I argue that the
government
Use synonyms
has the right to
this
Linking Words
action and must have strict rules about using
citizens
Use synonyms
'
data
Use synonyms
for true purposes.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline both sides of the argument and your own opinion in the introduction to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Try to have a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay, ensuring that each paragraph naturally follows from the one before.
coherence cohesion
Expand on main points with specific examples or further explanation to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
Restate both views and your opinion in the conclusion to neatly wrap up the essay.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay directly addresses all parts of the task, clearly presenting the arguments for both sides and stating your opinion.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas more comprehensively, potentially by adding more detailed examples or explanations.
task achievement
Use a wider range of structures and vocabulary to clearly express nuances and details in your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: