smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the wprld today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
people
are died
due to
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
douse and
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of
drugs
in their normal routine,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
to overcome
this
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
to
takes
Change the verb
take
show examples
strict action against it like
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
the supply of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
and
organization
Replace the word
organising
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
awareness campaign. I completely disagree with
this
idea and
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
essay will support my opinion
along
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Firstly
, if law
maker's
Change the noun form
makers
maker
show examples
dropped
Wrong verb form
drop
show examples
or ban the supply of
drugs
then
it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
difficult
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
drugers
Correct your spelling
drugs
to survive,
hence
, they may depend upon
another
Replace the adjective
another drug
other drugs
show examples
drugs
like drinks
that is
why
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
have to provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness seminar in which they guides the
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
about the harmful effects of cigarettes and other
tobacco
, so that
people
reduce the useful it in their life.
Along with
this
,
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
should
takes
Change the verb form
take
show examples
strict action against those
people
who
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
drugs
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
, so that they have fear in their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
.
Thus
, automatically, declares the
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
of it .
Secondly
,
instead
of
ban
Change the verb form
banning
show examples
these things,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should increase the price of cigarettes,
therefore
poor and
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
people
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
show examples
to afford that product, by
this
sale and use of cigarettes and
tobacco
can
be handle
Change the verb form
be handled
show examples
effectively. On the other side
throws
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the price of fresh vegetables and fruit
to encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
them to eat healthy food rather than unhealthy food. By
this
, the interest of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
in cigarette and
tobacco
tackle . In conclusion,
although
ban
Replace the word
banning
show examples
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
show examples
and other
tobacco
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
is not a bad idea,
nonetheless
it is not
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
solve
Replace the word
solution
show examples
as
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
can organize the health care campaign ,
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
the tax
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and so on.
Submitted by kirandkaur131 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
It is critical to have a clear introduction that outlines your argument. Your introduction should explicitly state your position regarding whether you agree or disagree with the proposed ban.
Task Achievement
Make sure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea that supports your argument, and provide relevant examples to illustrate your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay with a clear progression of ideas. Use a variety of linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs while ensuring that the progression of arguments is logical and easy to follow.
Language/Complexity
Avoid grammatical errors and use a range of complex sentence structures to express ideas more precisely. Also, ensure proper spelling and punctuation to enhance the clarity of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public health
  • Tobacco products
  • Ban (noun and verb)
  • Regulation
  • Legislation
  • Consequences
  • Addiction
  • Preventative measures
  • Healthcare costs
  • Economic impact
  • Awareness campaigns
  • Tobacco industry
  • Nicotine dependency
  • Second-hand smoke
  • Detrimental effects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: