In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?
An increasing number of individuals prefer to live without any partner. In
this
essay, I will elucidate the factors that contribute towards this
problem and give my opinion about how the drawbacks overshadow the benefits.
After graduating with bachelor's
degree, many youngsters start to find a job or move to another city. They start to create their career journey and earn some money to live. After many years, some of them considered to married and others prefer to live alone. Correct article usage
a bachelor's
This
trend of living alone increased currently because they are too busy with their work and enjoy their routine. Other things that might cause this
issue are also
because they do not have adequate money to have a partner or family. Therefore
, partnerless nowadays is considered as
a normal way for Change preposition
apply
people
to live in the long run. To illustrate, some people
are trapped in the sandwich generation, they should pay for their parent's
needs and themselves. Change noun form
parents'
Thus
, they are afraid if they start their own family, they will not afford it.
Living alone sounds fun because they only think about themselves. However
, in a long period, these circumstances may cause a big problem. Firstly
, as people
are getting older, then
their circle might be
get smaller. Unnecessary verb
apply
People
who are live solo,
could be trapped in loneliness and bored with their routine. Remove the comma
apply
Secondly
, individuals also
experience a decreased health
body and may be dependent on others. Replace the word
healthy
This
would be a big issue if someone lives without a partner or family. For example
, many old people
are living in nursing homes because they do not have any relatives to live with.
In conclusion, the reason people
live alone is because they enjoy it and have financial issues. I, therefore
, remain firmly convinced that the disadvantages are eclipsed by the advantages.Submitted by 2024successielts on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good. However, the logical flow between ideas can be improved by using a wider range of cohesive devices and creating clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
logical structure
In the introduction, ensure that you restate the question clearly and present your thesis statement. The conclusion should definitively state your opinion by summarizing the main points made throughout the essay.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Avoid general statements and strive to provide specific evidence or experiences to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Your essay touches upon the topic, but to fully respond to the task, make sure to address all parts of the prompt. Discuss both the reasons behind the trend of living alone and balance your essay by considering both the advantages and disadvantages equally before giving your opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Using transitional phrases more effectively and varying your sentence structure can help with the clarity and comprehensibility of your ideas, making the essay easier to follow for the reader.
relevant specific examples
Including specific and relevant examples will add depth to your essay and demonstrate a better understanding of the topic. These can come from your own knowledge or hypothetical situations that clearly illustrate your points.