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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plans below show the layout of a university sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment
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The graphs reveal the contemporary schematic of a university
sports
Use synonyms
 centre and how it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
will look in the future following
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a series of renovations.
Overall
Linking Words
, currently, it consists of a main building, a pool is located in the middle of that, which is
sited
Verb problem
situated
show examples
 among
two
Use synonyms
 outdoor courts. Reportedly, it will be a
sports
Use synonyms
 complex with new facilities and additional rooms. Regarding the current format, it can be seen that in the central building, which is situated among
two
Use synonyms
 smaller buildings called outdoor courts, there is a 25m pool behind the reception, surrounded by changing room and seating in the left and right hand respectively and a gym which is on the northern side. After redevelopment, all three buildings will be one.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the current
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
, a cafe and
sports
Use synonyms
 shop will be situated
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both sides of the entrance, next to the new changing rooms.
Two
Use synonyms
 dance
studioes
Correct your spelling
studios
studies
 will be opened on the eastern section across the
sports
Use synonyms
 hall and the gym, which is going to be expanded.
Also
Linking Words
, a leisure pool will be constructed on the eastern part, enclosed by the
two
Use synonyms
 changing rooms.
Submitted by n97.mortazian on

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introduction conclusion present
While your introduction provides a basic overview, aim to create a more detailed and engaging introduction that clearly outlines the purpose of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay, emphasizing the key changes and the overall outcome of the redevelopment.
logical structure
While the essay presents a logical progression of ideas, improve the organization by using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing more effectively to guide the reader through the information.
supported main points
Main points are adequately supported; however, for enhanced clarity, include more detailed descriptions and comparisons between the existing and future plans.
clear comprehensive ideas
The response meets the task requirements, but to aim for a higher score, ensure that your ideas are explained comprehensively, providing a more in-depth comparative analysis of the changes.
relevant specific examples
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to improve the complexity of the essay, while maintaining accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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