#Health - "Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (IELTS 2, AC)
There is
huge
debate concerning which kind of Correct article usage
a huge
health
system is more apropriated
to be Correct your spelling
appropriate
appropriated
instaured
in a country. Considering an old phrase which says that "Prevention is better than cure", preventive Correct your spelling
insured
installed
health
has shown an imense
saving of money and better quality of life Correct your spelling
immense
to
Change preposition
for
the
individuals in some countries in comparison to Correct article usage
apply
the
late treatment. Because of that, Correct article usage
apply
this
essay agrees with the statement and it will be shown in the following lines.
It is known that creating campaigns and promoting educational material to literate people about some topic
demands resources. Fix the agreement mistake
topics
On the other hand
, the costs of medicaments
and daily rates of Fix the agreement mistake
medicament
an
hospitalChange the article
a
,
Remove the comma
apply
is
much Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Correct quantifier usage
more expersiver
expersiver
. Correct your spelling
expensive
Hence
, it is very importante
to consider Correct your spelling
important
to apply
Change the verb form
applying
health
budget Correct article usage
the health
on
Change preposition
to
health
education and promote
awareness of diverse Wrong verb form
promoting
kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
disease
and how to prevent them. Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
For instance
, allerting women teaching them how to discover a cancerous nodule in the biginning
, makes the treatment more efficient with more chances of cure. Correct your spelling
beginning
Consequently
, it will demand less money resources
Correct word choice
and resources
to
the healing process.
Change preposition
for
In addition
to it, making people aware about
how to prevent sickness, Change preposition
of
enhance
the quality of life of the population, as far as Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
peole
will keep Correct your spelling
people
heathy
and Correct your spelling
healthy
consequently
will avoid to spread illness
. Change preposition
of illness
For example
, during the pandemic, many efforts were made by health
organs to spread the right conduct of sanitization and prevention of Covid-19, which was fundamental contain
the dissemination of the virus.
Fix the infinitive
to contain
To conclude
, applying preventive measures is the best way to conduce
the Verb problem
improve
health
sector, promoting better
quality of life Add an article
a better
to
the people and avoiding spending more money than expected.Change preposition
for
Submitted by carinabmurakami on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly presents a central idea supported by specific examples and explanations. The essay shows understanding but could benefit from more detailed examples to support the main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on the logical structure by organizing ideas more effectively throughout the essay. Create clear topic sentences and develop coherent paragraphs that logically flow from one idea to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
Check for typographical and grammatical errors as these can disrupt the flow of your essay. Consistent verb tenses, singular/plural forms, and spelling contribute to the overall coherence of the text.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
