Discussion Essay Questions Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is leading to poverty and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
These days it is argued that industrial
growth
is a way to solve poverty, though others claim that it leads to failure and it
causes severe problems. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
essay forms an opinion on both views, however
I believe that both opinions have pros and consAdd a comma
however,
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
therefore
a balanced approach is suitable..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
To begin
with, industrial development has had a huge impact on solving unemployment issues in underdeveloped countries
. Low income
Add a hyphen
Low-income
countries
lack people
for multiple positions in factories and people
in these countries
have limited employment options. For example
, factories are capable of providing salaries and job opportunities to people
without any prior education. When the
industrialization expands in multiple locations Correct article usage
apply
this
resembles that the country is in high demand of
economic Change preposition
for
growth
. As a result
, technological growth
provides jobs to people
in need, that
includes a better lifestyle Correct word choice
and
to
citizens and families in poor Change preposition
for
countries
.
On the other hand
, proponents that argue against industrial growth
believe that it comes with a negative side which includes labor
. Change the spelling
labour
In particular
, it has been a proven fact that women and children are being exploited for long working hours and low salaries. Most minors in poor countries
experience labor
,
because they need to provide financially for their families. Remove the comma
apply
Therefore
, industrial development comes with a huge risk of labor
that many foreigners are unaware of.
Change the spelling
labour
To sum up
, people
consider that industrial expansions are a leading way to reduce labor
risks and others believe that it is capable of solving unemployment issues, Change the spelling
labour
however
, my opinion is that it causes more issues than solutions, because labor
provides financial instability that still causes poverty and a negative lifestyle.Change the spelling
labour
Submitted by Estramarti9 on
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Task Achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and both views before stating your opinion. Your opinion should be distinct and remain consistent throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your paragraphs with clear main ideas followed by examples or evidence. This can be improved by introducing more specific details and examples that clearly support the points you're making.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion should summarily reflect on both views and restate your opinion clearly, showing an overall judgement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a variety of linking words to connect ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Structure your essay in a way that each paragraph has a clear central theme, which is elaborated upon with relevant ideas and examples. Avoid overgeneralizing, and provide more specific information when possible.