What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people's attention to art? The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead.
#people #attention #art #government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services
Art
plays crucial
and significant role in the lives of Add an article
a crucial
public
without entertainment lifeAdd an article
the public
become
dull and boring and entertainment has Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
ability
to Change the article
the ability
inspires
all Wrong verb form
inspire
the
individuals in different ways . Correct article usage
apply
However
, there are other serious issues should
be resolved by the government by using valuable money and will increase the living standard of all Correct pronoun usage
that should
the
living beings.
Correct article usage
apply
To begin
with , those who are rich and have handsome
amount of money in their bank accounts Correct article usage
a handsome
they
love Correct pronoun usage
apply
art
and there is no need to bring their attention towards the
Correct article usage
apply
art
because there
are living lavish Correct pronoun usage
they
life
and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
spend
their money on entertainment. Wrong verb form
spending
For instance
, all the celebrities have expensive theatres , paintings
at their homes. Correct word choice
and paintings
On the other hand
, majority
of the individuals are lying under Correct article usage
the majority
poverty
line and they Add an article
the poverty
does
not have access to Change the verb form
do
the
education, hospitals and work .Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, people who lives
in the city of Carabian in Africa Change the verb form
live
has
no food to eat and they force themselves to eat clay.
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
Moreover
, the higher authorities should take some steps in order to make their life livable. Correct your spelling
Firstly
Fistly
, the government should Correct your spelling
First
funding
them to create work through which they can earn and support themselves
financially. Change the verb form
fund
be funding
Secondly
, hospitals should be opened for them and treatment will be free of cost . Furthermore
, due to
the
poor financial Correct article usage
apply
conditions
some of them Add a comma
conditions,
not
allow their children to study Add a missing verb
do not
and
which is the reason Correct word choice
apply
of
child labour. The higher authorities can provide them Change preposition
for
free
education after all the children are the future of the country.
In conclusion, Change preposition
with free
art
is necessary to live upto
fullest but the higher authorities should draw Correct your spelling
up to
there
attention towards the most serious problems of the world and try to save Replace the word
their
the
humanity by providing them
proper resources.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure by dividing your essay into distinct paragraphs with specific purposes, such as introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices, linking words, and transitions between sentences and paragraphs to make your argument flow more naturally and logically.
coherence cohesion
Present supported main points with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
To fully address the task, make sure to respond to all parts of the question. Discuss both the causes of the issue and the potential solutions, providing balanced coverage of each aspect.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas by developing your points thoroughly and providing analysis or explanation where necessary to clarify your argument.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. They should be directly related to the argument you are making and help to underline your views effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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