In many contries shopping onlines is replacing shopping in stores. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage.

this

Linking Words

massive change of technology phenomenon, there is a shifting of

people

Use synonyms

's behaviour towards shopping where nowadays citizens tend to buy goods on stream rather than offline in stores.

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

think online shopping might be exposed to potential fraud,

on the contrary

Linking Words

, I believe it

beneficial

Add a missing verb

is beneficial

show examples

for busy

people

Use synonyms

which can save

money

Use synonyms

and time to travel. On the one hand, our technological advancement has allowed us to do several activities from using only a single phone,

such

Linking Words

as shopping and mobile banking payment, without

needed

Wrong verb form

needing

show examples

to travel to the actual shops. For some

citizens

Add a comma

citizens,

show examples

it is favorable because it can value their time and

money

Use synonyms

. There are several virtual

shops

Change the noun form

shop

show examples

applications scattered over the internet which

allows

Correct subject-verb agreement

allow

show examples

individuals to effortlessly seek their

necessity

Fix the agreement mistake

necessities

show examples

on stream

while

Linking Words

doing other activities.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they

also

Linking Words

can straightforwardly

made

Change the verb form

make

be made

show examples

a payment and

waiting

Wrong verb form

wait

show examples

for the products

being

Change the verb form

to be

show examples

delivered by the vendor within three days.

However

Linking Words

, those who oppose virtual stores may point out the potential dangers

such

Linking Words

as deception and human errors.

For instance

Linking Words

, when making online

purchase

Fix the agreement mistake

purchases

show examples

our identity would be easily exposed to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hackers once our data is

spreading

Wrong verb form

spread

show examples

out through the internet.

In addition

Linking Words

, virtual shoppers can only see the picture of the products, not the actual

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, there will be a chance of human errors

occuring

Correct your spelling

occurring

such

Linking Words

as transferring the wrong amount of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

Use synonyms

. Most younger

people

Use synonyms

are able to avoid these complications but older users are particularly vulnerable to fraud. In conclusion, individuals must be mindful of potential fraud,

however

Linking Words

, virtual stores are clearly beneficial technological

advancement

Fix the agreement mistake

advancements

show examples

which bring more

convenient

Replace the word

convenience

show examples

such

Linking Words

reduce

Wrong verb form

reducing

show examples

time

Correct article usage

the time

show examples

and

money

Use synonyms

needed to buy commodities.

hiitsmeee

Jan 29, 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay generally presents a logical structure, but to enhance, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the connection between points could be strengthened. Ensure each paragraph leads naturally to the next.

coherence cohesion

Include an introduction with a clear thesis statement and a conclusion that restates the main points effectively. Both should be clearly distinguishable and summarise the discussion appropriately.

coherence cohesion

Each main point within the body of the essay should be supported with clear examples or evidence. Increase the range and depth of examples to bolster your arguments.

task achievement

Fully address the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in equal measure, and ensure that the argument encapsulates all aspects of the question.

task achievement

Develop ideas clearly and systematically throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a main idea followed by comprehensive elaboration.

task achievement

Introduce more specific examples to support your points. This provides a detailed and nuanced understanding of the topic, enhancing the reader's engagement and the validity of your arguments.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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In many contries shopping onlines is replacing shopping in stores. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage.

In the past，many people had skills such as making their own clothes and doing repair to things in the house. In many countries, nowadays, skills like these are disappearing. Why do you think this change is happening? how far is this situation true in your county?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it’s a good to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.