In many contries shopping onlines is replacing shopping in stores. Discuss the advantage and disadvantage.
In
this
massive change of technology phenomenon, there is a shifting of Linking Words
people
's behaviour towards shopping where nowadays citizens tend to buy goods on stream rather than offline in stores. Use synonyms
While
some Linking Words
people
think online shopping might be exposed to potential fraud, Use synonyms
on the contrary
, I believe it Linking Words
beneficial
for busy Add a missing verb
is beneficial
people
which can save Use synonyms
money
and time to travel.
On the one hand, our technological advancement has allowed us to do several activities from using only a single phone, Use synonyms
such
as shopping and mobile banking payment, without Linking Words
needed
to travel to the actual shops. For some Wrong verb form
needing
citizens
it is favorable because it can value their time and Add a comma
citizens,
money
. There are several virtual Use synonyms
shops
applications scattered over the internet which Change the noun form
shop
allows
individuals to effortlessly seek their Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
necessity
on stream Fix the agreement mistake
necessities
while
doing other activities. Linking Words
Moreover
, they Linking Words
also
can straightforwardly Linking Words
made
a payment and Change the verb form
make
be made
waiting
for the products Wrong verb form
wait
being
delivered by the vendor within three days.
Change the verb form
to be
However
, those who oppose virtual stores may point out the potential dangers Linking Words
such
as deception and human errors. Linking Words
For instance
, when making online Linking Words
purchase
our identity would be easily exposed to Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
the
hackers once our data is Correct article usage
apply
spreading
out through the internet. Wrong verb form
spread
In addition
, virtual shoppers can only see the picture of the products, not the actual Linking Words
one
. Correct pronoun usage
ones
Furthermore
, there will be a chance of human errors Linking Words
occuring
, Correct your spelling
occurring
such
as transferring the wrong amount of Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
money
. Most younger Use synonyms
people
are able to avoid these complications but older users are particularly vulnerable to fraud.
In conclusion, individuals must be mindful of potential fraud, Use synonyms
however
, virtual stores are clearly beneficial technological Linking Words
advancement
which bring more Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
such
as Linking Words
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
time
and Correct article usage
the time
money
needed to buy commodities.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
The essay generally presents a logical structure, but to enhance, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the connection between points could be strengthened. Ensure each paragraph leads naturally to the next.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction with a clear thesis statement and a conclusion that restates the main points effectively. Both should be clearly distinguishable and summarise the discussion appropriately.
coherence cohesion
Each main point within the body of the essay should be supported with clear examples or evidence. Increase the range and depth of examples to bolster your arguments.
task achievement
Fully address the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in equal measure, and ensure that the argument encapsulates all aspects of the question.
task achievement
Develop ideas clearly and systematically throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a main idea followed by comprehensive elaboration.
task achievement
Introduce more specific examples to support your points. This provides a detailed and nuanced understanding of the topic, enhancing the reader's engagement and the validity of your arguments.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...