IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing you
this
Linking Words
 letter to ask about the enrollment of my
son
Use synonyms
 in your school. I would like to introduce first my family that we are new here and moved from another city because of my career job. Now, we have a
son
Use synonyms
 who studied in seven and unfortunately, he has to drop off his study
due to
Linking Words
 my job reason. Currently, I would like to start my
son
Use synonyms
's study in 7 so he can continue with it. I would like to describe a bit about his achievements that he is clever and brilliant in mathematics and science subject. Another scope of his interests that makes us proud is that he is a very sporty person and more into basketball and chess. I hope you would like to accept my
son
Use synonyms
 to study in your school. If you want to know more information about our background
then
Linking Words
 feel free to contact me I have attached my contact number below. Yours Faithfully, Hardik Mehta

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve the logical structure, you need to organize your letter into clear paragraphs with separate themes: opening, your son's academic achievements, his extracurricular interests, and a conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate your ideas more precisely and naturally.
Task Achievement
Make sure you fully developed your ideas, giving a more thorough explanation of your son's academic achievements and interests that would be relevant to the school principal.
Task Achievement
The tone of the letter is adequate, remaining formal throughout, but it could be enhanced by using more formal language and expressions typical of formal correspondence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure the letter follows the conventions for the format of letters, including the sender's address, date, and a proper subject line if applicable.
Grammar
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, including verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct forms of words.
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