Films and games can be accessed at any time from mobile devices like smart phones, tablets and laptop computer. Do the advantages of such development outweigh the disadvantage? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Two decades ago, If we
want
Wrong verb form
wanted
show examples
to watch
movie
Add an article
a movie
the movie
show examples
,
Cinema
Correct article usage
a Cinema
show examples
theatre was the only available option and it
depeds
Correct your spelling
depended
on the place where we
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
. It was accessible for the City population but it was
occationally posible
Correct your spelling
occasionally possible
for
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
show examples
and
rual
Correct your spelling
rural
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
. A decade ago,
Televison
Correct your spelling
television
got popular where
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of channels started playing moving and Video
games
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
popular. It was
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
fancy electronic gadget
then
to have video
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
at home. If we
fastfarward
Correct your spelling
forward
10 years, the evaluation
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
mobile devices with good connectivity
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
changed the whole story.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, it is easy to access movies and
games
online and a Smartphone / Tablet / Computer can able to support both. It saves
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
time
, we do not want to wait
untill
Correct your spelling
until
some media operator
to play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
the movie on the channels, we can watch it
any
Correct your spelling
anytime
show examples
time
. some
time
back children used to visit
neighbours
Change noun form
neighbours'
neighbour's
show examples
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
to play video
games
it was not easy to afford
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
.
Change preposition
of.
show examples
Now,
A
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile devices
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
vast
Add an article
a vast
show examples
range of
games
to play. In the current
scinario
Correct your spelling
scenario
, these
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
advancements help us to reduce the use of plastic and
semi conductors
Correct your spelling
semiconductors
show examples
.
However
, These mobile device takes
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
time
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the users. The excessive
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
of
contant
Correct your spelling
content
is being produced and it is made available for easy access in the form of movies / series /
Games
. we start to browse about something but after
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
we end up on
someting
Correct your spelling
something
else. These content creators use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
AI algorithms to study our
browase
Correct your spelling
browse
browser
pattern / choice of
games
. based on
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
we get
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
of
suggesstion
Correct your spelling
suggestion
suggestions
and it
enduce
Correct your spelling
induce
us to scroll on and on or to choose different
games
. Too much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
information in a short
time
will confuse
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
brain and it will
invite
Verb problem
cause
show examples
mental disorders.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
recent survey
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
published by Sun
publications
Capitalize word
Publications
show examples
on the topic of "Mobile Usage side-effects",
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group of 6 years to 14 years, who
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
the Smart
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
/
Tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
Tablets
show examples
more than 6 hrs a day,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
started getting eye vision issues and
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in interacting with people. In my
openion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, Mobile devices
opens
Change the verb form
open
show examples
Add an article
the door
show examples
door
Fix the agreement mistake
doors
show examples
for many things if we
understrand
Correct your spelling
understand
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
better and start using
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
for positive things. earlier day, if we want to refer we need to go to
libreary
Correct your spelling
library
and it consumes
time
and
lot
process to be followed. Now, google can help us
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of things. The technology provides advantages like quick access, more content for
referance
Correct your spelling
reference
,
Correct word choice
and help
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to pass the
time
with friends and family.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the logical structure, aim to organize your ideas more effectively by introducing each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and following it with supporting information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion that addresses the question directly, summarizing your argument succinctly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or details to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Address the task more completely by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages more equally and specifically, ensuring you make a clear judgment about whether one outweighs the other.
Task Achievement
Consider refining your ideas to be more comprehensive by exploring the topic more deeply and covering all aspects of the prompt.
Task Achievement
Use concrete examples from your own experience or general knowledge to support your points and demonstrate the real-world implications of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: