IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

*Some people say that the government should spend money on measures to save languages that are used by few speakers, while others believe that it is a waste of financial resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion*

#*some #people #government #money #measures #languages #speakers #waste #resources #opinion*
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Government
policy
 on spending
money
 for preserving
language
 is still debatable. There are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
believe
Correct pronoun usage
who believe
show examples
 that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should allocate the
budget
 for
language
 which is used by
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 users in order to save the
language
,
while
 others argue that the
policy
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to waste the national
budget
.
This
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both points of view and give evidence as to why spending
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 saving
language
 is superior. Governments always make financial
planing
Correct your spelling
planning
show examples
 each
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
, especially for
culture
 and
language
. They should make a
policy
 which can lead to spending much
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
opertional
Correct your spelling
operations
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 giving
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 or
workshop
Fix the agreement mistake
workshops
show examples
 for those who
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to learn about the
language
. Yet, only
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
show examples
 person who wants to learn because the
languange
Correct your spelling
language
 is not popular.
As a result
, it makes the
policy
 become ineffective and tends to waste the
budget
.
However
, preserving the
language
 is not about many or few
speaker
Change to a plural noun
speakers
show examples
, but it is about the
preseve
Correct your spelling
preserve
 the legacy and identity of the nation. Some countries have an
indentity
Correct your spelling
identity
 where
languange
Correct your spelling
language
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a
culture
, even that can be called
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 heritage.
This
 matter can not be valued with
money
, because the
language
 is unique and it is part of
culture
.
For example
, Indonesia has more than two hundred languages which
spreads
Change the verb form
spread
show examples
 out to
thirty one
Add a hyphen
thirty-one
show examples
 provinces. Only
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
 number of
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
speak the
language
 but the
government
 still have been spending
budget
 to preserve the
language
 as respect and
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to the
culture
. In conclusion, despite there are number of certain
people
contradict
Correct pronoun usage
who contradict
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the allocation of
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
budget
 as
effort
Add an article
an effort
show examples
 to save the
languange
Correct your spelling
language
, in my point of view, it does not really matter
to
Change preposition
whether
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 spending
budget
 for saving the
language
although
 only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
people
 speak about that.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and the following sentences support that topic. Review the organization of ideas to enhance the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
Develop your arguments further with relevant, specific examples to strengthen your discussion.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on your perspective in the conclusion, ensuring it is a summary of the points discussed and it includes a clear opinion.
general advice
Address grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for increased clarity and to reduce ambiguity.
general advice
Work on expanding vocabulary range to better express nuances, particularly when discussing complex issues.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • revitalization
  • linguistic diversity
  • cultural heritage
  • homogenization
  • cost-effective
  • preservation
  • digital archiving
  • allocations
  • minority communities
  • pragmatic approach
  • financial resources
  • bilingual education
  • endangered languages
  • cultural identity
  • ethnolinguistics
What to do next:
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