Some people think that the government should invest money in arts and cultural events, while others believe that the government should spend money on more important things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is an ever-increasing point of view regarding the
Goverment's
Correct your spelling
government's
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
must be allocated for important things rather than
unecessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
activities. It is often argued that they should have
invest
Change the verb form
invested
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
other fields to develop the
infrastucture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
of the
country
.
This
essay agrees that the
Goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should have
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
a wise alternative to spend the
budgets
Fix the agreement mistake
budget
show examples
.
To begin
with the first notion, there are
couple
Change the article
a couple
show examples
of reasons why
Correct article usage
the Goverment
show examples
Goverment
Correct your spelling
government
must elucidate
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
country
's necessities and scan the main priority.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, the
Goverment
Correct your spelling
government
can
improves
Change the verb form
improve
show examples
infrastructure, healthcare, education, social
walfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
, or any
programms
Correct your spelling
programmes
which
aimmed
Correct your spelling
aim
for public establishment.
In addition
to
this
, the community
able
Add a missing verb
is able
show examples
to experience
such
holistic
Correct article usage
a holistic
show examples
approach and to support themselves.
For example
, most of the students would be motivated if the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
asserted a better education policy. Needless to say, all these impacts stand out in good stead, as far as augmenting the excellent possibilities for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
to
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
Correct article usage
a vetter
show examples
vetter
Correct your spelling
better
show examples
quality of life. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand, there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
pivotal reasons why investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
art and culture can be a promising benefit to the
country
. Notwithstanding they could preserve national heritage,
fosters
Correct subject-verb agreement
foster
show examples
creativity, boost tourism, and provide education value.
As a result
, it is mandatory for them to have a wide knowledge
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
cultural
approach
Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
show examples
to prevent
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
identity of the
country
.
According to
the fact that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
understimate
Correct your spelling
underestimate
the value of art itself as
national
Correct article usage
a national
show examples
identity.
To sum up
, the composition, I would like to restate my perspective that the consideration of the socio-economis is important and differ the priorities based on the level of development.
Thus
it is clearly a positive thing to prioritize
public's
Correct article usage
the public's
show examples
immediate needs rather than
focos
Correct your spelling
focus
on other fields.
Submitted by sofinnovita on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay more clearly. Ensure that you have a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. At the moment, your essay lacks detailed examples that would make your points more convincing.
task achievement
Make sure you directly address the prompt. Discuss both views presented in the question and provide your own opinion throughout the essay. Be clear and explicit in expressing these.
coherence cohesion
Avoid grammatical errors and typos to increase the clarity of your essay. Consider more careful proofreading before submitting your writing.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to improve the flow and readability of your essay. Try to use a range of complex sentence forms effectively.
task achievement
Check that you have a conclusion that summarizes your main points and clearly states your own opinion as required by the prompt. Your current conclusion needs to be more definite and reflective of your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • heritage
  • creativity
  • tourism
  • educational value
  • quality of life
  • infrastructure
  • healthcare
  • socio-economic
  • holistic
  • budget allocation
  • public services
  • cultural enrichment
  • fiscal responsibility
  • national identity
  • priorities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: