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Band 5

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefit compared to life in the countryside. To what extent to do you agree or disagree?

#city #benefit #life #countryside
Nowadays, the population who live in the urban area are continually increasing
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the rural area. Some argue that the
city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 provides advantages more than the countryside. From my perspective, I agree with
this
 statement that
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 can improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of life among residents. One of the biggest reasons is that the big province has more amenities.
Since it
Correct word choice
It
show examples
supposed
Add a missing verb
is supposed
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 to be the center of education, economy and business which shows the
superior
Replace the word
superiority
show examples
 of technologies and facilities. These are constructed by both governments and entrepreneurs that they have
authorities
Fix the agreement mistake
authority
show examples
 and funding, giving a convenient life for citizens.
For example
, there are numerous alternatives of transportation in the
city
 to select, like a subway, sky train, taxi, car, or bicycle.
People
 have a choice to make which is the best way for them and suitable for their lifestyles.
Furthermore
, the urban
city
 has greater opportunities in both
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system and career path. As the
city
 is not only
center
Correct article usage
the center
show examples
 of the nation but
also
 they have to contact with the international countries.
This
 is a chance
Change preposition
for that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
city
’s residents can improve their knowledge and develop
business
Correct article usage
the business
show examples
 market more than
people
 who live in the downtown
city
.
For instance
, working in the capital
city
 will be able to try or meet new things that some
people
 have never
face
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
 before which provide new skills,
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 or
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
 other cultures from foreigners or even going to work overseas. In conclusion, even though the big
city
 is more crowded, chaotic and
higher
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 competitive,
people
 can take advantage
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the amenities and have more opportunities to reach
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better standard of living.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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coherence cohesion
It's important to present a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your main points effectively. In your introduction, instead of simply stating an agreement, briefly introduce the reasons that will be discussed. In the conclusion, restate your thesis more clearly and summarize the main arguments without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences support that main idea. Use a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., linking words, synonyms) to show the relationship between ideas, and make sure paragraphs have clear topic sentences.
task achievement
To fully address the task, expand your arguments to consider both sides of the issue, even if to refute the counterpoints. Provide a balanced argument that reflects the complexity of the statement and provide clear responses to the prompt in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points. While you provided one or two, aim to include them for each main argument to strengthen your essay and to clarify your ideas. Layer your examples with details to make them more powerful and impactful.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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