it is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age.Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
Some people
argues
that Change the verb form
argue
its
is important to know about the similarities between the good and bad Change the pronoun
it
things
for children
at young
age ,Add an article
a young
while
the
other people Correct article usage
apply
were
strong in giving punishment to Wrong verb form
are
children
for them to gain the right
and wrong things
.In this
essay,I will share my opinion by taking the
both sides of the argument.
Remove the article
apply
In
Change preposition
On
one
hand,good behaviour from the Correct article usage
the one
children
plays a vital role in developing their personality.If the children
activities were good , an appreciation would be great to encourage them in Change noun form
children's
a
Correct article usage
the
right
manner.Learning the good and wrong in an early stage of the children
will help out to bring abright
future and will have a Correct your spelling
a bright
bright
well
personality in the future.Change the adverb
good
For instance
,the schools in Canada encourage the
Correct article usage
apply
children
by appreciating
them to have Verb problem
encouraging
a
better behaviour in the Remove the article
apply
classrom
. In a survey,the crime rates in Japan are lower Correct your spelling
classroom
by
Change preposition
among
the
Correct article usage
apply
middle aged
students because of Add a hyphen
middle-aged
these
encouragement from Correct determiner usage
the
the
teachers and Correct article usage
apply
parents
in a
Correct article usage
the
right
way.
on the other hand
,the fact of the punishment to the yound
Correct your spelling
young
children
to learn fair things
,
leads to stress and depression . If the teacher Remove the comma
apply
punishing
the Wrong verb form
punishes
children
,that will head
to Correct your spelling
lead
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
the
interest in Correct article usage
apply
studies
and sometimes they will Correct pronoun usage
their studies
afraid
to tell the Add a missing verb
be afraid
parents
if they done
a mistake.Verb problem
make
For example
,punishments like parents
were
not allowing the Unnecessary verb
apply
children
to play or giving restrictions to get away from televisions rather than physically abusing them.
I conclude that,
appreciation and encouraging them to learn good manners is the best way to approach Remove the comma
apply
children
.Punishment is not the right
way to teach good things
by
Change preposition
to
parents
and teachers. A good appreciation and encouragement from the teachers and parents
would help them to do well in life rather than abusing them physically.Children
are the future of every nation in the world.Submitted by insighttribez on
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is positive. However, to improve the logical structure, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and the paragraph content directly supports that idea.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with the introduction and conclusion. Make sure to paraphrase the question in the introduction and summarise the main points in the conclusion, refraining from introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear and relevant examples. Such examples should be specific and directly linked to the points you are making.
task achievement
Ensure you completely respond to all parts of the task. Address all aspects of the prompt in a balanced way, discussing the extent to which you agree or disagree and providing specific ideas about the sort of punishment if any.
task achievement
Develop your ideas comprehensively. Expand on your points with clear explanations and examples, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on one main idea only.
task achievement
Include a range of relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. Rather than general statements, provide concrete evidence or scenarios that align with the point being discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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