The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.

Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.
The chart shows the
employment
rate
in 1995 and 2005 between
men
and
women
in
six
countries
, which are
Australia
, Switzerland, Iceland,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, New
Zealand
, and the USA.
Overall
, it is visible that both
women
and
men
had increased from 1995 to 2005.
Men
consistently
Add a missing verb
were consistently
show examples
on the lead on
employment
rate
in
six
countries
in both years. In 1995, the
men
reached its peak in Iceland with over 70% employed. On the flip side, it is lowest in the UK
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
about approximately 55%. The differences between all the male
employment
ratios across
six
countries
are not too significant with differences below 20%.
Whereas
the
women
in 1995, the highest point is in Switzerland with about 55% employed, which is the same as
men
in
Australia
and the UK. The slump is in New
Zealand
with just 20% of
women
employed followed by
Australia
with the lowest
women
employment
rate
with differences of 10%. In 2005,
women
and
men
that are employed in
six
countries
had increased drastically. The highest of all time given and all
countries
is reached by New
Zealand
with over 80% of
men
employed.
Whereas
the
women
in New
Zealand
had the highest
employment
rate
at that time about 69%
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
employed.
On the other hand
,
this
year the least
women
employment
rate
is in
Australia
with numbers below 40%. New
Zealand
is followed with only 41% of
women
employed in the country in 2005.
Submitted by semangatbanget.s2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, rate, men, women, six, countries, australia, zealand with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • economic indicators
  • comparative analysis
  • trends and patterns
  • economic factors
  • stability and change
  • sector-specific
  • job market
  • workforce participation
  • fluctuations
  • economic growth
  • unemployment
  • recession
  • boom
  • labor market dynamics
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