The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagrams illustrate the reproduction procedure of large fish called the
salmon
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the diagrams about the processes from the
salmon
Use synonyms
egg until it becomes the adult
salmon
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
salmon
Use synonyms
eggs
Use synonyms
can be found in the upper river with slow-moving conditions. In
this
Linking Words
slow-moving water, there are many reeds. Commonly, the
salmon
Use synonyms
eggs
Use synonyms
can be found on the below part of the reeds near the small stones. The difference between the
salmon
Use synonyms
eggs
Use synonyms
and small stones is the
size
Use synonyms
of the
salmon
Use synonyms
eggs
Use synonyms
are smaller than the stones. And, for
this
Linking Words
step, it usually takes 5 to 6 months.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
salmon
Use synonyms
eggs
Use synonyms
will become the
fry
Use synonyms
. The
size
Use synonyms
of the
fry
Use synonyms
is about 3 to 8 cm. The
fry
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
swims to the lower river with fast-flowing conditions. The
fry
Use synonyms
will live around four years and
then
Linking Words
become a
smolt
Use synonyms
. The
size
Use synonyms
of the
smolt
Use synonyms
is between 12 and 15 cm.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
smolt
Use synonyms
will swim to the open sea and live there for around five years.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the
smolt
Use synonyms
will become an adult
salmon
Use synonyms
with a
size
Use synonyms
of about 70 to 76 cm.
This
Linking Words
adult
salmon
Use synonyms
will produce
salmon
Use synonyms
eggs
Use synonyms
. And the cycle will start again from the first step.
Submitted by nadiamanda.salsabilla on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, eggs, size, fry, smolt with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • freshwater streams
  • small pebbles
  • reeds
  • alevin
  • yolk sac
  • nourishment
  • fry
  • grow stronger
  • grow larger
  • parr
  • defined markings
  • estuaries
  • smolt
  • adapt to saltwater
  • ocean
  • full size
  • sexual maturity
  • spawn
  • life cycle
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