government should spend more money on education and rather than recrreation. do you afree or disagree?

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Ongoing, the physical
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
and counselling are the fundamental aspects of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, Many people suggested that government should invest in
schcools
Correct your spelling
schools
rather than sports.
This
Linking Words
essay partially agrees with
this
Linking Words
statement. On the one hand education budget is a
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
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goal. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
,after the long
urn
Correct your spelling
run
show examples
you get superior
yeild
Correct your spelling
yield
in return from adults in future.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the great tutoring
produce
Change the verb form
produces
show examples
many
option
Change to a plural noun
options
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of employment and
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
a part in
development
Add an article
the development
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of any country.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the funds for
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
help to improve infrastructure. To elaborate, the capital investment is used to
built
Change the form of the verb
build
show examples
more
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
for better adragogy.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
finance utility will hire quality tutors from abroad and better study is a right of every citizen.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the funds of the country for sports
is help
Change the verb form
help
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to encourage health complications. To illustrate,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fitness complications
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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need
Correct article usage
a need
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of every
people
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person
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. Nowadays, everybody
want
Change the verb form
wants
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to maintain health by playing games.
This
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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only
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
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when organizations
held
Wrong verb form
hold
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tournament
Fix the agreement mistake
tournaments
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and fundraising for athletes.At
last
Linking Words
, the
olympics activites
Correct your spelling
Olympic activities
play a vital role in income generation. It
come
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comes
show examples
from international
tourisms
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tourism
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and
such
Linking Words
fund
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funds
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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help our
sportsman
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sportsmen
show examples
for quality outcomes.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
the report published by the Times
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
during
Fifa
Correct article usage
the Fifa
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world
Correct your spelling
World Cup
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cup
Capitalize word
Cup
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2022
Add a comma
2022,
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Qatar
generate
Wrong verb form
generated
show examples
350 million dollars from foreign travellers. It can be concluded that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the potential for pedagogy is useful in our future.
However
Linking Words
, the remarkable physical activity cannot be ignored.
Submitted by hussas614 on

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task achievement
The essay somewhat addresses the question but could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that explicitly states whether you agree or disagree with the prompt. Strive to clarify your position in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Organize the essay with a more logical structure, providing distinct and focused paragraphs for each point. This includes clear topic sentences and more cohesive transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Develop each main point further by providing more relevant specific examples and explanations to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures to improve readability and cohesion. Errors in spelling and word choice can detract from the overall quality of the essay.
task achievement
Be consistent with the argument throughout the essay and ensure the conclusion aligns with the introduction.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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