government should spend more money on education and rather than recrreation. do you afree or disagree?

#government #money #education #recrreation #afree

Ongoing, the physical

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

activity

and counselling are the fundamental aspects of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, Many people suggested that government should invest in

schcools

Correct your spelling

schools

rather than sports.

This

essay partially agrees with

this

statement. On the one hand education budget is a

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

goal. In

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

,after the long

urn

Correct your spelling

run

show examples

you get superior

yeild

Correct your spelling

yield

in return from adults in future.

Moreover

, the great tutoring

produce

Change the verb form

produces

show examples

many

option

Change to a plural noun

options

show examples

of employment and

take

Correct subject-verb agreement

takes

show examples

a part in

development

Add an article

the development

show examples

of any country.

Secondly

, the funds for

study

Add an article

the study

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

help to improve infrastructure. To elaborate, the capital investment is used to

built

Change the form of the verb

build

show examples

institution

Fix the agreement mistake

institutions

show examples

for better adragogy.

Furthermore

this

finance utility will hire quality tutors from abroad and better study is a right of every citizen.

On the other hand

, the funds of the country for sports

is help

Change the verb form

help

show examples

to encourage health complications. To illustrate,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fitness complications

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

need

Correct article usage

a need

show examples

of every

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

. Nowadays, everybody

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to maintain health by playing games.

This

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

only

happen

Correct subject-verb agreement

happens

show examples

when organizations

held

Wrong verb form

hold

show examples

tournament

Fix the agreement mistake

tournaments

show examples

and fundraising for athletes.At

last

, the

olympics activites

Correct your spelling

Olympic activities

play a vital role in income generation. It

come

Change the verb form

comes

show examples

from international

tourisms

Fix the agreement mistake

tourism

show examples

and

such

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

help our

sportsman

Fix the agreement mistake

sportsmen

show examples

for quality outcomes.

For instance

according to

the report published by the Times

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

during

Fifa

Correct article usage

the Fifa

show examples

world

Correct your spelling

World Cup

show examples

cup

Capitalize word

Cup

show examples

2022

Add a comma

2022,

show examples

Qatar

generate

Wrong verb form

generated

show examples

350 million dollars from foreign travellers. It can be concluded that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the potential for pedagogy is useful in our future.

However

, the remarkable physical activity cannot be ignored.

Submitted by hussas614 on Tue Jan 30 2024

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task achievement

The essay somewhat addresses the question but could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that explicitly states whether you agree or disagree with the prompt. Strive to clarify your position in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

Organize the essay with a more logical structure, providing distinct and focused paragraphs for each point. This includes clear topic sentences and more cohesive transitions between ideas.

task achievement

Develop each main point further by providing more relevant specific examples and explanations to support your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Check for grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures to improve readability and cohesion. Errors in spelling and word choice can detract from the overall quality of the essay.

task achievement

Be consistent with the argument throughout the essay and ensure the conclusion aligns with the introduction.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

236 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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government should spend more money on education and rather than recrreation. do you afree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, traffic congestion and water pollution. Do you think that governments should impose extra taxes on flights or accommodation to restrict today's tourism industry?

Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What are the reasons for this and how can the problem be tackled?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work r travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Some people think news has no connection to people’s lives. Therefore, it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The ease of international travel and the spread of various kinds of mass media all over the world have made it more possible than ever for people to know how other people live in other countries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?