Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today education and
sport
play a very important role in our lives. Some parents think that studying the subjects of their Fix the agreement mistake
sports
children
is less important than the activities
they do which I strongly agree with that do
exercises have to have more time and attention than studying and the reasons will be presented in the coming paragraphs.
First of all, doing exercise helps to be healthy so that Unnecessary verb
apply
people
can makes
everything well when they have good health. Verb problem
do
However
, the students can focus more on their learning because the activities
they do recharge them with a
power they need to concentrate. So, when Correct article usage
the
people
play and do activities
they will be more effective and have a positive impact on their bodies that can impact positively on their lives a
whole.
Change preposition
as a
Furthermore
, playing games can help children
to communicate better with whom they play with
and that can make them have a positive personality with high self-confidence and Change preposition
apply
this
can help them to build a strong personality and develop relationships. Therefore
, when children
contact with weird they will have a new idea
, Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
information
and Correct word choice
and information
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
culture
influence with others. Replace the word
cultural
For example
, some games require many numbers of players and this
can make them help each other and lead the team very well. So, people
can benefit from sports they do in many ways.
To conclude
, doing activities
is considered one important factor for a healthy lifestyle which can work as a power and an energy for students to continue their days well. In my overview, I agree that doing activities
is better to do it much more because it can make people
healthier and I advise parents to let their children
play outdoor games to be able to enjoy and get more energy and clean breathing.Submitted by alhajeer11179 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
You should ensure your essay follows a clear and logical structure throughout, with a distinct introduction, development of main points, and a solid conclusion. Aim for organized paragraphs that each start with a clear topic sentence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your introduction includes a clear thesis statement, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument without introducing new information.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Use specific instances or data to support your argument where possible, rather than general statements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strive for a balance of complex sentences and clear ideas. Be cautious of sentence structures that are overly complexed and could potentially confuse the reader or make the argument difficult to follow.
Task Achievement
Proofread your essay for grammatical errors or awkward phrasings and improve clarity where needed. Maintain a formal tone consistent with academic writing throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, directly address the prompt by discussing the importance of studying as well as physical activity, and make your personal stance clear while considering other perspectives.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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