"Old people are an essential part of society, so they should be respected.” How much do you agree with this opinion and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer

In
this
life
,
people
from different ages group has important
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
, especially the
older
Correct pronoun usage
older ones
show examples
.
People
that
Correct word choice
who
show examples
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
longer than younger
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
positive impacts on
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
such
as parents or
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
. With
this
role, we should
polite
Add a missing verb
be polite
show examples
to them. In
this
essay, I will delve into my reasons why I
am totally agree
Change the verb form
totally agree
show examples
with
this
given statement. First of all, older
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
more knowledge of
survive
Change the verb form
surviving
show examples
in
this
life
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
their experiences. They
also
teach us how to live
life
right and provide useful
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
.
For instance
, parents
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
tough
Add an article
a tough
show examples
task to teach their children to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nice
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. They would provide all in
this
world to ensure their children
grown
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
better.
That is
why, we as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
younger should respect our parents' struggle when they nurture us.
Moreover
,
eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
spirit
Add an article
the spirit
a spirit
show examples
to face all conditions in
this
world. As we know, there are a lot of grandparents
still
Correct pronoun usage
who still
show examples
go to work despite their ages.
This
phenomena
Change the determiner
phenomenon
show examples
makes us more spirited to through all the tough
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
because we feel challenged, how can we as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
lose to old
people
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Besides
, respecting older
people
is
bare
Add an article
the bare
show examples
minimum that everyone should do. When we
polite
Add a missing verb
are polite
show examples
to others indirectly they
also
care
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
us. In conclusion, I believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
should be respected
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
because
Correct pronoun usage
ones because
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manners
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
something that
bond before
Replace the word
bonded
show examples
long ago. Older
people
has more
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
struggle
Replace the word
struggled
show examples
to
paved
Wrong verb form
pave
show examples
the way for us so we can continue
this
day more
convenience
Replace the word
conveniently
show examples
.
Submitted by helainhye2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. It's important for your thesis statement to be clear and direct.
grammar
Use a variety of sentence structures to showcase linguistic range and improve readability. Simple and compound sentences should be combined with complex structures.
grammar
Be careful with subject-verb agreement and correct use of tenses throughout your essay.
grammar/spelling
Take care to correct spelling errors (e.g., 'eldery' should be 'elderly', 'through' should be 'throughout') and use articles where necessary.
coherence & cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your essay by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task response
Ensure your examples are clearly linked to your main points and fully developed. Try to provide detailed and relevant examples to support your arguments.
paragraphing
Work on paragraph structure, making sure each paragraph contains a single clear idea, explained well and supported with examples.
conclusion
Your conclusion should restate your position and summarize the main points of the essay. It should reinforce your argument without introducing new information.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: