The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of junk food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of junk food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph provided
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
the amount of
pizza
Use synonyms
,
fish
Use synonyms
and
chips
Use synonyms
, and
hamburgers
Use synonyms
that the Australian teenagers
eaten
Add the auxiliary verb
ate
show examples
in 5 years, from 1975 to 2000. We can see clearly that
pizza
Use synonyms
and
hamburgers
Use synonyms
eaten are having a steep increase
while
Linking Words
fish
Use synonyms
and
chips
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated and eventually decreased from the given period.
Initially
Linking Words
in 1975,
fish
Use synonyms
and
chips
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
the most consumed junk food
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others with over 100 consumption per
year
Use synonyms
. It has been fluctuating
untill
Correct your spelling
until
1985, before the huge drop and
continously
Correct your spelling
continuous
decrease. Ended up being the least consumed junk food of all in 2000 with below 40
fish
Use synonyms
and
chips
Use synonyms
consumed per
year
Use synonyms
.
Pizza
Use synonyms
and
hamburgers
Use synonyms
started in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
positions with only below 10 consumed per
year
Use synonyms
in 1975. The number of
hamburgers
Use synonyms
eaten had drastically increased
untill
Correct your spelling
until
1985. From
then
Linking Words
to 2000,
hamburgers
Use synonyms
had only
appoximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
20 added number.
However
Linking Words
,
hamburgers
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
the most consumed junk food by Australian teenagers in 2000. Following in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second place,
pizza
Use synonyms
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
to
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
untill
Correct your spelling
until
1995 and reached its peak
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
about 85
Use synonyms
pizza
Fix the agreement mistake
pizzas
show examples
eaten per
year
Use synonyms
. 5 years
after
Rephrase
later
show examples
, the number of
Use synonyms
pizza
Fix the agreement mistake
pizzas
show examples
getting eaten is going flat with no significant differences.
Submitted by semangatbanget.s2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words pizza, fish, chips, hamburgers, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fluctuate
  • Spike
  • Dip
  • Steady growth
  • Decline
  • Plateau
  • Consumption patterns
  • Fast food
  • Processed snacks
  • Health consciousness
  • Marketing influence
  • Demographic factors
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Nutritional education
  • Epidemiological impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: