Some people think that success is the best indicator for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

According to
some individuals, being
succeed
Replace the word
successful
show examples
refers to being intelligent
however
, other
people
believe that there are several other ways of measuring
intelligence
. I firmly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
intelligence
should not be measured by
success
because it does not mean that those who are failures are not intelligent.
To begin
with,
success
in some cases requires
intelligence
as one has to act and perform smartly with
intelligence
to become successful. More specifically, one has to ensure the best utilization of time and resources to
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
success
which
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
intelligence
.
For example
, becoming successful in an exam depends not only on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sufficient proportion of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
but
also
a good use of
intelligence
like time management, or
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of
effective
Correct article usage
an effective
show examples
exam strategy.
However
, the measurement of
intelligence
should not be confined to
success
as there are numerous
people
in
this
world who
are not succeed
Change the verb form
are not succeeding
show examples
but
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are intelligent. They displayed their
intelligence
not through
success
but through their survival or adaptability. In
desert
Add an article
the desert
show examples
,
for instance
, where there are limited resources
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
for livelihood,
people
are taking numerous steps for survival with the use of their
intelligence
. In my opinion,
success
definitely comes with
intelligence
but, throughout the period of time,
people
struggled a lot to survive and establish modern civilization with their
intelligence
. If we confined
intelligence
only to the conventional idea of
success
such
as achieving a job or
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good score in
exam
Correct article usage
an exam
show examples
, our ancestor's contribution would become valueless.
To conclude
,
intelligence
can never be measured through
success
.
Instead
Add a comma
Instead,
show examples
those who
possessintelligence
Replace the word
were intelligent
show examples
without achieving
success
but survived should be taken into consideration.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this idea is developed coherently throughout the paragraph. Use a variety of linking words to help the reader follow the argument.
task achievement
Stick closely to the task throughout your essay. Make sure every point you make is relevant to the question and expand your ideas with detailed examples.
task achievement
To improve task response, ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed. Develop your main points with specific examples, and ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on using a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and in a more engaging manner. Avoid repetition of words and phrases when possible.
task achievement
Take care to correct grammatical errors and ensure proper sentence formation for clarity and precision in conveying your ideas. Substantiate your points with more concrete examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: