IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that success is the best indicator for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

#people #success #indicator #intelligence
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According to
 some individuals, being
succeed
Replace the word
successful
show examples
 refers to being intelligent
however
, other
people
 believe that there are several other ways of measuring
intelligence
. I firmly believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
intelligence
 should not be measured by
success
 because it does not mean that those who are failures are not intelligent.
To begin
 with,
success
 in some cases requires
intelligence
 as one has to act and perform smartly with
intelligence
 to become successful. More specifically, one has to ensure the best utilization of time and resources to
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
success
 which
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
intelligence
.
For example
, becoming successful in an exam depends not only on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sufficient proportion of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 but
also
 a good use of
intelligence
 like time management, or
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
effective
Correct article usage
an effective
show examples
 exam strategy.
However
, the measurement of
intelligence
 should not be confined to
success
 as there are numerous
people
 in
this
 world who
are not succeed
Change the verb form
are not succeeding
show examples
 but
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are intelligent. They displayed their
intelligence
 not through
success
 but through their survival or adaptability. In
desert
Add an article
the desert
show examples
,
for instance
, where there are limited resources
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
 for livelihood,
people
 are taking numerous steps for survival with the use of their
intelligence
. In my opinion,
success
 definitely comes with
intelligence
 but, throughout the period of time,
people
 struggled a lot to survive and establish modern civilization with their
intelligence
. If we confined
intelligence
 only to the conventional idea of
success
such
 as achieving a job or
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good score in
exam
Correct article usage
an exam
show examples
, our ancestor's contribution would become valueless.
To conclude
,
intelligence
 can never be measured through
success
.
Instead
Add a comma
Instead,
show examples
 those who
possessintelligence
Replace the word
were intelligent
show examples
 without achieving
success
 but survived should be taken into consideration.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Take care to correct grammatical errors and ensure proper sentence formation for clarity and precision in conveying your ideas. Substantiate your points with more concrete examples.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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